Extract : ELY AMA Thing

This is an extract from my longer-than-War-and-Peace femdom/cuckold novel 'Eva's new lifestyle'.

In it, Eva and her cuck hubby-to-be Francis have started a femdom website to publish her porn and it has a growing fanbase. Eva regularly hosts video webchats on the site, and this is one. This is a kind of reverse ask-me-anything where Eva asks her audience a kind of 'Never have I ever' question and then probes one of them on the details. You'll pick it up. Bear in mind, she's on a webcam but most of the audience are on a web chat. ELY stands for her username :EvaLovesYou and GB1..N are just standins for names which I planned to make up later. (Thinking up names is hard and it's an interruption when you're writing.) This kind of stuff just falls out of me. I have no idea where it's going when I sit down to write.

ELY : Okay. Here we go, and remember to stay to the finish because I’ll be making a special announcement at the end. Actually two. Yes? Francis? Pay attention.  I’m being told yes. So does everyone know how to raise their hand? Let’s see you do it, for practice. And hands down. Okay. We’re good. So I’m in charge here. No buttinskis even though the chat is open. Imagine I have a gavel  and I’m not afraid to use it.

Somebody called this a Dutch auction in the forum and I had to look it up. It’s basically where the auctioneer sets a price and works down until somebody steps in, which isn’t quite what we’re doing, but anyway, that lead to me clicking on Dutch wife in Wikipedia,, which turns out to be a sex doll which I never knew either.

GB1 : This is  an education. But I knew Dutch auction wasn’t right.

GB2 : I think they meant a reverse auction, which is what this is, kinda. 

ELY : Okay, but I want to start off differently. Has anyone here used a sex doll? I am keen to know. 

GB3 : Does a fleshlight count?

ELY : Hands  up! And  no, not really, I mean an actual doll, but we may come back to you GB3. Anyone used an actual doll? Hands up! Oh, just one. GB4?

GB4 : I have. Not a blow up one, a life-doll.

ELY : Cool. Do you have a picture?

GB4 : No. Not sure I’d want to post it if I did either. I don’t own it. Jesus, I’m regretting speaking up already.

ELY : Disappointing, but I meant a picture of the doll so we could look it up. Dish it, GB4. Don’t make me drag it out  of you.

GB4 : Okay. So, I like anime and cosplay and hentai and stuff? I was at a convention and I was staying with a buddy - don’t really know him very well, just online though the anime scene. Went back to his place to crash after the con. and he had a sex doll in his apartment. It’s called a real sex sex doll if you want to google. There are different ones. I think she was called Rita.

GB5 : Very  hentai.

ELY : Pretty. And wow expensive. Keep going GB4, you are racking up the points here.

GB4  : So this guy, he was kinda weird I have to say, was like ‘Hey, be my guest. Take her for a spin tonight’. I was kind of fascinated by her and (sorry, for saying her all the time, but it feels weird to say ‘it’) 

ELY : Please. I think I prefer Her or Rita.

GB4 : I sound slightly crazy, but she was nice. And anyway, he sees me kinda taken with her and I think he was, I dunno, bored with her. He was the sort of person with loads of money who spends a lot on collectibles and figurines and stuff but almost immediately loses interest. So, I was like, no way, but I couldn’t really say it was weird and creepy because, like I was staying with him and he’d bought her. So I said yeah, and he didn’t care and it was really strange but I was so intrigued so I brought her to bed in  his spare room.

ELY : I love this. I have to ask. Was she heavy? You just picked her up? Over the shoulder? How?

GB4 : Yeah. I get it. So, no. Over the shoulder would have been weird. I mean, you’re going to have sex with her so, yeah, I did stand there for a minute trying to work out how to carry her.

ELY : Hold on. Where was she? If this guy hadn’t used her for a while? In a box? A wardrobe. I have so many questions.

GB4 :  Sorry everyone, this might take a while. 

GB5 : Keep going. We are all fascinated. 

GB6 : I too, have so many questions when Eva’s finished.

GB4 : So, no, she was sitting in a chair, in his basement lounge/den sort of place. Picture sofas and the walls are lined with shelves of anime figurines. Which is why I saw her. In this room, in, like an armchair. She was dressed in a cosplay outfit - not one of the ones she comes with, it was an anime character - Neru - if anyone’s a fan, He’d bought this outfit specially. So, she’s sitting there, like she’s asleep. Her eyes closed. So, to carry her, I decided I’d put an arm over my shoulder like helping a person. But as soon as I touched her, her eyes opened. She’s slightly animatronic? 

ELY : OH MY GOD CREEPY!

GB4 : No. Not at all. I suspected  that would happen because I’d been talking to this guy about her for a while. And some people say they look kind of uncanny-valley creepy but I didn’t think that. I thought she looked nice.

ELY : Does she make sounds?

GB4 : Yes He’d opted for the voice module. But she doesn’t really talk. It’s more sighs and sounds? Some words, but they’re in Japanese and not whole sentences. So she opens her eyes and goes Hai?

ELY : And you carried her.

GB4 : Yes, into  the room and I put her lying on the bed, in like a lifelike pose. 

ELY : The limbs stay in position? 

GB4 : Yes but not stiff. 

GB5 : Please ask if he washed her. The owner guy.

GB4 : I checked. I  sniffed. She was totally clean. I don’t think he’d ever actually used her as a sex doll. Like I say, he was a bit odd. Odd enough to buy a five grand sex doll and just dress it up. 

ELY : Let’s stick to you. And her. I see Neru’s outfit. Did she have panties?

GB4 : Yes, and a bra and stockings and like a tiara and stuff. Yes, I pulled the panties aside to see and feel what she was like. Squeeky clean.

ELY : And you had sex with her there and then?

GB7 : Not even a glass of wine  for the  lady?

GB4 : Kinda. I stripped off and lay down beside her and kind of felt her all over. The silicone and  construction is kind of cool. She feels really nice and touching her makes her do these little moans. It may sound weird but it’s very sexy. Plus I think I turned down the lights so she looked better in the half-light. And yeah, I slipped it in.

ELY : Lube?

GB4 : I had hand-cream in my washbag. Actually antiseptic hand cream with menthol which felt weirdly cool. But the animatronics warms her flesh. Not all over, just the breasts and the vagina area. 

ELY : Did it feel weird?

GB4 : Yes,  very. But also sexy and I really enjoyed it. But, the bed in  the spare  room was kind of old and crappy - this guy didn’t get many guests. It was more of a cot than a bed. And with her weight and mine it squeaked and creaked like a bastard and I didn’t like that, even though he was unlikely to hear it. He was asleep upstairs. It’s odd what you remember.

ELY : Squeaky bed is such a turn off. Doggy? Missionary BJ? ANAL?!?

GB4 : Sorry, only missionary. She can do a BJ, but I didn’t try that. It would have been disrespectful? Is that crazy? And doggy might be possible but only if she was over the side of the bed. Her limbs would not be stiff enough to stay on all  fours. And to be honest, I never even thought of anal. I just wanted missionary and I had to try hard not to come really quickly.

ELY : You held on? Edging? That sounds mental. Or wait, does she orgasm?

GB4 : No, but she makes different sexy noises when there’s pressure on her vagina. But no, I was holding on because it was sexy and enjoyable. And I wanted to remember how it felt.

ELY : And you came in her?

GB4 : Yes. And yes, I cleaned her carefully afterwards. That’s slightly weird. She comes with accessories, including a kind of sponge-on-a-stick for this purpose, and I  had to  tiptoe into the gaming room  to get that. But cleaning her was also slightly sexy. She still made the noises.

ELY : And then what? Put her back on the chair?

GB4 : Ehh. No. I undressed her down to bra and  panties -  I’d  kept the  outfit on  for sex because, well, Neru. But then I just slept with her beside me, even though there wasn’t a lot of room.

ELY  : Awwww. That’s kind of cute. But you liked the outfit. Why not keep it on?

GB4 : There’s all metallic  piping and stuff  and sharp edgy bits. It looks nice but wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep in for me or her.

ELY : What was sleeping with her  like?

GB4 : Best part. She’s warm and soft. Only thing is, of course she doesn’t breathe which feels strange. There are newer models that do.

ELY : You seem kind of taken with her. Did you miss her after you left?

GB4 : I have never had a live-in girlfriend. I’ve had girlfriends (not  many)  and some have stayed over or I have with them, but not permanently. I missed sleeping with her. 

ELY : You are breaking my heart GB4. Sleeping with someone is the best. You actually sound really nice. I’m surprised you haven’t found someone to be with.

GB4 : Don’t worry. Just a while ago  I met a super nice girl online and we’ve been together for a few months and we’re moving in together next week.

ELY : Congratulations. Don’t answer this if it’s too personal, I am prying now. But what changed, so you did meet someone?

GB4 : I did. I mean, I changd. I think I just got over some issues I had, and I became easier to be around. We met online ages ago but she lived on the other side of the country so we found it hard to meet up but it was so good that I moved to be near her. We didn’t move in straight away and I kept my old place in case it didn't work, but last week she asked me to move in with her. And I’m in the middle of selling my old apartment and getting out of this rented flat. 

ELY : I am so glad. Remember, living together is hard. You need to make compromises. But I really hope it works out  for you. I loved your story. But I would advise against telling her about it.

GB4 : Thanks for not saying I’m a creepy weirdo. I cannot imagine telling anyone else this and them being so accepting.  You are an angel.

ELY : Okay, that was unexpected. Next question for you all. I know many of you have worn ladies clothes. What I want to know is, has anyone bought anything in person from a shop - not online. Hands up this time.

ELY : Okay, twelve of you. Let’s narrow that down. Something they’re prepared to show a picture of now. Not a link to a website. But the actual article of clothing. 

ELY :Okay, nearly all of you. Let’s narrow it more.  Wearing it right  now keep your hands up;

GB9 : Shit. Winning this auction and now I wish I hadn’t. Fuck. I don’t want to back out but this is really hard.

ELY : GB9, I think you know that I never mock my members. Tease maybe. Scold sometimes, but I will not laugh at you. But you won this  auction and your prize is to show everyone.

GB9 : I’m going to stand and look away. One sec.

ELY : Thank you. But hold on, it’s way too dark to see there. Can you turn on ...  Oh wow.  That is pretty. Fuck. It’s beautiful. You look great. I love it. Can  I keep that picture?

GB9 : Sure. Sorry I can’t face the camera. That’s just  a bit too much.

ELY : No problem. Are those rhinestones? Was it expensive?

GB9 : They’re crystals, like swarovski kinda. It was over a thousand dollars. I saw it on an actress on the Oscars and I became a bit  obsessed. With  the dress, not her.

ELY : You have quite a figure. Is there a little shape-wear under there?

GB9 : LOL. More than a little. I creak when I sit down and my circulation is kinda constricted.

ELY : It is so pretty though. And I guess it just wasn’t available online?

GB9 : Not just that, it was only available at one shop in New York. I made the trip especially to buy it and then nearly didn’t.

ELY : Go on please. This gets better.

GB9 : It’s a tiny boutique with designer gear. I went past it like  six times trying to work up the courage to go in. This is the kind of place where there aren’t racks. Just single dresses or shoes on a stand or a shelf. It’s almost empty but there are like,  six staff in there. They all look like models. All immaculately made up in super-fashionable outfits.

ELY : Fuck. I know exactly the kind of place. Nothing has a price. Nothing is in more than two sizes. Zero and One. And all the  staff look like they are bored and bitter. Even I am intimidated in these places.

GB9 : And there is no cash register. There is no desk. If  you want something you have to ask someone who is just standing around.

ELY : So you went in on the sixth pass?

GB9 : No. I went back to my hotel room and cried. I wanted to give up.

ELY : Cried. Metaphorically?

GB9 : Nope. Actual tears. I wanted it so bad but the thought of going in there was too  much. And I cried  real tears of frustration. And then I got angry. Why shouldn’t I have it? Didn’t I  deserve  something so beautiful? Why should I be ashamed?  And I thought up a story. I was going  to buy this for my wife. She was a size three but I’d get it altered back home in Canada. I wanted to take it with me now. I’d just brazen  it out. I worked myself up into a state and went  back.

ELY  : This gets better. You go girl.

GB9 : Yes, but by the time I got there I’d lost all that energy. I went in but I was so deflated I just couldn’t do it. But I was kind  of emotionally drained and sort of on auto-pilot. I went up to the nearest assistant and asked for the Maria Schabowski crystal dress in a size two.

ELY : And??!??

GB9 : And she was so  nice. She asked if it was for a loved one. I said yes. She asked if it was a surprise  and I said yes. And she said it was so beautiful she was sure it  would be a wonderful, special present. And she asked if I wanted to take it away there and then, and I said yes. And she said  she’d get it wrapped for me. And I paid and I waited  - it took ages to wrap it - the crystals mean it has to be wrapped  in lots of tissue paper. And she chatted about New York. I don’t even remember and then I had it and I said thank you and  I left and it  was wonderful.

ELY : These are great stories!! I love this. Did you hurry back to the hotel to try it on?

GB9 : Not straight away. Now I had it, and all this confidence, I went to Bloomingdales and bought a shaper slip and opaque pantyhose to wear under it. That would have been an ordeal normally but I was on such a high I just didn’t care.

ELY : And then back to the hotel?

GB9  ; Yes. But it didn’t fit. Even with the shaper material. It was just too small. Or I was just too big.  I couldn’t get it over my hips or my chest. So I couldn’t wear it yet, but I hung it on the wardrobe in the hotel room and just looked at it.

ELY  : You got it altered in the end though?

GB9 : Yes. I brought it to a seamstress at home in Ontario  and got darts put in. They moved some crystals to cover the darts and it’s perfect. I wear it every time for your chats.

ELY : I am delighted to hear that. You look perfectly lovely  in it and it sounds like it was worth all the money and anguish.

GB9 : It was! And even more so now. Thank you so much. I love these chats so much

ELY : This is taking so much longer than I thought it would, but I love these stories. One more. Okay, lets go even deeper. Has anyone willingly been cuckolded? I mean, not cheated on - they wanted this to happen.

…

ELY : Four? Just to be clear, I don’t want to hear a cheating story - it has to be consensual. Okay, still four hands uo. I really want to hear them all. Is anyone still in a relationship with the partner involved?

ELY  : Wow. All four? Okay, let’s Dutch auction this. Most recent cuck experience - within the last week.

ELY : Okay, two hands left. Married to the partner still? Both of you. Okay. Your cuckoldress knows you visit this site?  Now just one. Okay  GBX,  you are on. But you other three - we may be coming back to you,

GBX : Wow. Now I know how GB4 and GB9 felt. I did not think I would be talking about this. 

ELY : And if you feel uncomfortable, please feel free to just say so. We can elide stuff you don’t want to share, but please don’t make anything up. We’re all about the truth and respect here, Sorry, made myself a little sick there with my own cheesiness. First off - if your partner/wife knows you visit this site, is there a chance she may read this?

GBY : More than a chance. I am she.

ELY : THIS GOT AMAZING FAST!

GBX : We’re on different laptops together. I asked GBY if this was okay before I put up my hand. We are married. I am her husband of ten years,.

ELY : OMG. Hello to you both.  I love you guys already. And congratulations on being together for so long. It gives me real hope.

GBY ; Hi Eva. I hope it’s okay if I  talk too. I’ll try to let GBX tell our story without talking over him all the time (which I do in real life, it’s  a terrible habit) But if you say - it gives you hope - you should already know that consensual cuckolding will only make your marriage stronger. We’re together for ten years but I know we will be together forever and a lot of that is due to the relationship we have.

ELY : I did not think I would need tissues for this. At least not cry-tissues but I seem to have something in my eye. Okay, first off - when and how?

GBX : Okay but first, can I say, that finding your site has also been wonderful. I’m not allowed to look at porn but GBY showed me your site when it launched.  (We’re second cohort 102 and 103). And it was like, an amazing revelation for us. We knew you and Francis were real as soon as we joined - a lot of  your experiences are the same. So thank you so much for sharing all this. Anyway - when, was actually the year before we were married. We’d been together for a year, living together, and it was fine. We’d talked about getting married, we loved each other, but as we edged towards real plans to  be together forever, I could tell she had doubts. 

ELY :  How?

GBX : Just feelings. Neither of us were very experienced when we met. That was fine for me, but I thought, maybe she feels she missed out. We were both very career focussed and had gone straight from college to work. We’d never done the ‘see the world’ thing. I didn’t feel like that, but I thought maybe she did and maybe she wanted to well, sow wild oats before she settled down. Of course, I  worried she might not come back.

ELY : You were thinking she’d do like  a world tour for a year, on her own, and then come back -  or not? :( 

GBX : Exactly, except maybe not alone. She had/has a girlfriend (platonic) who was adventurous and promiscuous. Maybe with her. This was in my mind. And then I suggested it?

GBY : That question mark - we were playing a ‘would you ever’ type game at the time. We’d suggested a lot of crazy things.

ELY : Sorry to focus  on this but was it just you two there at the time?

GBX : Yes. In bed. It was a post coital game we sometimes played. 

ELY : Sometimes sexy suggestions?

GBX : I’d say mostly sexy. And sometimes we’d act on them  later, but nothing really adventurous.

ELY : Please go on. 

GBX :  So, GBY said maybe yeah, but would I come with her, not her friend.

ELY : Can I predict  that that confused  you.

GBX  : Exactly. I thought she didn’t understand the suggestions real meaning.  

ELY : But she did. She just wanted you to be there.

GBY : Sorry. Sorry. You are both right. But also this - I thought he would want to do the same. But we would both do it. Together. I’ll stop.

ELY : No. That makes sense and it sounds kind of cool. But you discussed that and decided against that?

GBX  : Sorry. No. Just to be clear, we didn’t do that at all - go round the world on a GBY  sex  tour.  And BBY didn’t clarify that she would do that there and then. It was just what she thought I meant. But we discussed ‘wild oats’ and other partners a bit and really quickly, that night, we were both clear on the parameters. 

ELY :  You can skip this  if  you want. Were you doing anything physically sexy while you talked?

GBX : No. Very much not. From the start GBY knew that would be a bad idea. I want to be really clear about something. Her cuckolding me wasn’t really on my  mind at the start. I was suggesting we part, she do her own thing and then either come back sure of getting married (I hoped for) or not. The key part being we’d be apart - break up kinda. And although I wasn’t explicit about it, I’d remain faithful - for a year I was thinking.

ELY  : Can I guess? GBY saw in that suggestion that you didn’t want other partners and if you could be okay with it while she was away, you might be okay with it with her at home with you.

GBY : And I didn’t want to break up with him. I loved him. That was a non-starter. And I don’t even like  travel. I’m a real home-girl. I   was never going to go around the world. 

ELY : LOL. Why go abroad when you have lots of guys  right  here?

GBY : Exactly and lovely husband to love  and cherish.

ELY : But  it’s different. GBX imagined some kind of make-your-mind-up time limit. Plus him not there, maybe not knowing what I was doing and who with.

GBX : We teased that out. I didn’t want her to go either. Knowing about it wasn’t a problem. And the time limit wasn’t really a limit. It was more of a - let’s not make a mistake thing. 

GBY : And of course, during the discussion, there  was, well, two things. Sorry again.  But (a) we touched on  not just knowing, but being there and (b) this was an incredible turn  on for both of us. I remember physically  trembling with excitement when I saw how this made GBX feel.

GBX : And, at the start this whole thing was theoretical. We were playing a what-if game so as to explore how we felt. So as we circled the topic I was thinking, kind-of ‘fuck this is amazing - we should fantasise about this more often’ Really. I was imagining, imagining it, but at some point I realised that we were actually talking about doing this. 

ELY  : is it just me or is it really quiet in here? Please go on.

GBX : Sorry, we’re just  checking in with each other here.

ELY :  And is it okay. Are you regretting talking?

GBY : Not at all. Totally fine. I was just giving him a kiss.

ELY : Awwww.

GBX : Thank you. This is so unreal  to talk about here. 

ELY : Have you before?

GBY : Yes. With a sex therapist. Not for problems. She was doing a thesis on poly relationships and we volunteered for an interview. 

ELY : Woah. I really want to hear about that but let’s keep on track. How did the discussion end?

GBX  : Lol. It didn't. We are still talking, having the same conversation ten years later in a way. Even now. Is this okay? Am I forcing you? Do you like  this?

GBY : We tired ourselves out. We talked till 3 am and even though we were so  keyed up it was exhausting. I fell asleep. 

GBX : I don't even remember that. I just remember  the next morning. GBY was all over me. 

ELY : I bet. Was the sex incredible?

GBX : It always  is. But it was more the feelings. I’d thought I was in  love but I wasn’t really till then. Love is acceptance and this is the ultimate acceptance. 

GBY : We actually agreed that morning to get married as soon as possible. We were so sure and  we couldn’t wait. And we weren’t even sure we would do it, really, but we agreed to talk about it and to incorporate it into our lovemaking. More than that - into our lives. I  agreed I’d point out guys I was attracted to when we were out. That was really the start. 

ELY : Any GBY, I have to ask, from a woman’s perspective, did you worry, did you think -  am I making him do this?

GBY : I worried, yes. But not so much am I making him. Since he’d suggested something, not exactly, not quite, like this himself, but I worried that it might lead to jealousy, even if it didn’t seem so. And I didn’t think he’d blame me or reproach me, just that it might not work but we would just back out of it. But like GBX says, after that night, it felt like nothing could touch our love for each other.  I also worried that maybe I wouldn’t like it. Not ‘it’ but  that I might end up with  a guy and we’re all keyed up but I wouldn’t like him and it would be well, awkward or bad or whatever. It took me a good while to choose GBX and I was never one for casual relationships much so it was easy to fantasise about but harder to imagine it working out in practice. 

GBX : I have to admit that I didn’t have those fears, just the obvious and ever-present fear that it  would work out like some cuckold story where GBY would love sex with some other guy so much that I would lose her. But not really, because well, in love, and I trusted her that she knew her own feelings.

ELY : I feel I could listen to you guys forever, and we have to do this again but I really want to hear about the first time. Is that shareable?

GBX : GBY is nodding. There was a lot of lead-up and I want to say, the lead up was just as hot and enjoyable as the actual sex. I mean, the times she would point out some guy she liked and then we would fantasise about it later. Or she would ring me from work and talk  about how  horny she was for some  guy. She was so good at that and it was amazing. For a  long while we were thinking this would be as far as we would go. Not that we were getting cold feet, just that this kind of stuff,  not teasing, just talking, was so hot it seemed like it was enough, and there were the practical problems GBY mentioned. So I’m saying I don’t think either of us were  chafing to go further. 

ELY : But you did.

GBX Yes. And weirdly it was kinda like we’d said. GBY had a work trip to another city for a week of conferences. There was another guest at the hotel. She rang me and told me about him and how much she was attracted to him. And I said did she want to do  it - it was perfect - out of town, in a hotel, totally anonymous. And she said, take time off and join her. And I  did. I booked a flight that night and flew out,  took another room at the hotel. I was shaking the  whole time.

ELY : Please  go on. A million questions but I want to hear you tell it.

GBX. I wanted to see him before and we arranged over text that she’d meet him for a drink at the hotel bar. And I went there and saw them together. She’d already kinda flirted with him. She’d told him she was married and her husband knew. Then she asked him if I could  watch.

ELY : I can’t hold it in. Did he know you were there?

GBY : Not until then.. 

GBX : You tell it. You were  there.

GBY :  Okay, I’d flirted a LOT. He  knew sex was more than a possibility. But I kinda made it a precondition. And he asked was GBX here in the bar right then? And I  lied and said no. That was the only lie. And he was like, kind of conflicted. Afterwards, he said, that he was worried he wouldn’t be able to perform with someone  watching. He’d never done anything like this before. But he said okay. It took him  a while to decide. And I said we’d go  to my room and my husband would join us.

ELY : This is so hot. I mean, wow.  I know I’ve done this too but I’ve never heard a hotter scene.

GBX : It was so hard. The hardest part was that I couldn’t hear any of this or talk to GBY about it then, She just gave me looks, and then a kind of a head-flick to  follow when they left together. That guy was  so clueless that he didn’t realise it was me in the bar.

GBY : He was distracted. 

ELY : LOL. I know exactly. A hot woman comes on to a guy and their intelligence drops to a four week old puppy  level. 

GBX : So I knew what the ‘follow us’ look meant and we’d given each other keys (that was a whole other story with the hotel) but I  was still so nervous at the door. I thought I might have an aneurism. I  can still remember the blood pounding in my temples as I opened the door.

GBY : Me too. Waiting was torture. Was he coming? What would I do? It was probably only thirty seconds but it felt like twenty minutes. But when the door opened and he  was there. I just felt so calm. I knew  with GBX  there that it would be okay no matter what happened and it gave me confidence. I knew then we could never do this without him being there. 

ELY : Good choice.

GBX : And I know this is probably dissapointing but I don’t want to  describe the sex. I won’t do  it justice. But it was fucking incredible.

ELY : Did you sit? Jerk off? Don’t have to answer.

GBX  : That’s okay. I don’t mind telling. I just can’t describe sex  in words. It sounds crap when  it was amazing. I  sat. I didn’t talk. There were lights over the bed but  that’s all we turned on.  I was in dim light. 

ELY : Did they talk?

GBY : I talked non-stop. To him and to GBX. I just ran my mouth off. I don’t remember him saying anything at all. He was still nervous. And I thought talking would cover that up. Silence felt awkward. And I know GBX says the sex was incredible but to be honest, he was so-so and very nervous but I wanted it to work so I kind-of acted like it was amazing, which in turn made him more confident and I  knew  it was blowing GBX’s mind.

ELY : HOW? HOW:? H-T-B is terrible at letting me know. He clams up and goes quiet. 

GBY : LOL. GBX too. I just knew because we’d talked so much. He was just a dim shadow kind of fumbling in the dark.

GBX : I  didn’t want to intrude too much. And what do you say? Go on, give  it to her? Or Oh god this is  terrible? There’s nothing good  to say in this situation.

GBY : It’s okay baby. I know. And I knew then if there was something wrong you’d say.

GBX : And you asked before If I jerked off? Not really. I was so keyed  up I knew I would come so fast if I did, so I just stroked ever so slowly and gently. To  be honest there wasn’t much need. It looked incredible and GBY is such a good actor. And whatever she says, she was enjoying  it.

GBY : Oh yeah, I was, especially when he got some confidence  and followed my encouragement.

ELY : There’s a lot of work  to do for the woman. So  let’s shoot to the end. You came? He (the guy) came? What then?

GBY : I asked him to go real  quick. Then he talked. Said thank  you. I think he said  something like ‘Nice to meet you’. to GBX  - I mean. What do you say? He pulled on his clothes and went. 

ELY : AND?!?

GBX : GBY came over  and showed me her creampie.

ELY : Eat  it?

GBX : She didn’t tell me to but I did.

GBY : That was such a mind-fuck. I was still kind-of unsure how he’d felt and then when he went down on me it was (a) such an incredible affirmation and (b) felt amazing. Like I  said, the  sex was okay,  but not out-there amazing in itself - psyschologically amazing> But being given oral straight after, with all  the feelings, it was just mind-blowing and when GBX saw  how much it did for me, he really went to town on my pussy. I’d come already but I had multiple orgasms, one after the other for a couple of minutes. Out of this world incredible. Only issue  was he’d still barely spoken. And it took me a while  to  even come down far enough to talk. 

ELY :But you did.

GBX : For hours and hours. So much  love.  Then I got a pain in my belly. I hadn’t eaten in over a day. I’d jumped on the plane, hared it over to the hotel and had no time to eat. I’d just forgotten. I was having stomach cramps.

ELY : Be fair. You had  eaten something.

GBX : That’s what GBY said. She’s here all night. Try the veal. Oh God. The bad jokes.. But actually that may have been the  problem. A small amount of food woke my stomach up. It may seem funny but it was really painful.

GBY : I laughed at first, but then I realised he was in a lot of  pain. The stress and travel made it worse and it took us a while to realise what it was.

ELY : Sorry, that sounds scary.

GBY It was a bit. But we ordered room service and I had some soup and toast and it passed quickly. 

ELY : And that was ten years ago?

GBX : Nine. I mean, I counted from that initial conversation, and it took a year or so from then to that time.

ELY : Guys, you are amazing. Each  of these stories is incredible but you guys sound like you have  so  much more to  tell. I just know the rest of the members would love to hear more. I can’t believe you have been on the site so long and I haven’t known. Did you enjoy telling this?

GBY :  Totally. I had to really encourage GBX to put up his hand  but he  got so into it. We’d be prepared to talk more some other time. Right now, I think we need to go fuck.

ELY : Thank you so much. It was amazing. Each time we  do one of these I think, why does anyone put up their hand. Seriously guys, nobody can top that, you  don’t have to, but let’s do one more. I have a  list here Okay this one is a toughie. Has anyone ever been with a prostitute? Full disclosure. I have done paid sex  work, so no judgement here.

ELY Okay, that’s more hands than I expected.  

GB11 : Does phone sex count?

ELY : Ehhh. That’s a different topic. No, I mean in person.

ELY : Okay a few drop outs. So, even one time, femdom? Don’t make me define that please.

ELY : Wow. No dropouts. Not even one. Six hands I think.

ELY : Jeeze. Okay, more than once with the same domme.

ELY : ONE DROPOUT? You guys need to form a club.

ELY : Okay, not always femdom with the same domme, but at least two times. What I’m lookng for is femdom and vanilla with the same person, and over a period of time.

GB12 : We got married.

ELY : OH MY GOD. GB12? Started as a john-sex worker relationship and you married after?!?

GB12 : Yes. Still married. Four years last Christmas. 

ELY: Okay, we have a winner. The rest of you, we may come back to, but this is worth hearing.  Vanilla sex before or after the marriage? I.e. when she was still a sex worker?

GB12 Before. Started femdom, several  scenes  then tried  vanilla, married, both vanila and femdom sometimes as a married couple. . 

ELY : Okay. Wow. What made you fall in love, if  that’s not an impossible  question.

GB12. First time. Just did. It  was amazing and she is so sweet  and strong and amazing I just fell head over heels  straight away, Which was wonderful and horrible. I mean, it’s a terrible situation and I wondered if  this was just, like a sexual infatuation. But I just couldn’t get her out of my head.

ELY : When  did you tell her?

GB12 : Second time. I booked her (this was an online escort service) and she remembered me and I confessed - this was  maybe two months after -  I  was totally heartsick and I said I didn’t want sex like that beause I loved her and I knew it was silly and maybe, like a cliche but I just couldn’t live without telling her. But I had no expectations really, I thought this must happen all the time.

ELY : Wow. She’s not lurking on  this forum is she?

GB12 : Not now. I’m almost  afraid to admit it, but she sometimes uses this login too. I know that’s not allowed but we don’t really have secrets.

ELY : Members wives and dommes get a pass on that rule, your wife double. (I must  find out how many more members wives do that). Anyway, wow. I was going to ask  about how you ask for domme sex and how it works out, but now I have a million falling-in-love questions.  So, how  did she react to this confession?

GB12 : She said no, it didn’t happen all the time, at least not to her. But she really didn’t believe I was in love with her. She did think it was just a kind of sexual infatuation. And she thought the best thing wasn’t to agonise over it but to just let it work itself out. She insisted we  have sex and to be honest I didn’t need much persuasion. I’d been worried she might be made uncomfortable with my expression of love or maybe take advantage of it but she was really very mature about it.

ELY : And if you  don’t mind. What kind of femdom, especially that first session.

GB12 : Oh, like SPH and teasing and cuckold talk stuff. And a handjob. 

ELY : Nice. Had you been to other dommes before?

GB12 : Not dommes but I had been with other sex workers. Phone and the same escort service. So, yeah, femdom on the phone but in person, vanilla sex. Two times, different girls. Wasn’t good. My fault.

ELY : Your fault?

GB12 : So intimidated and awkward. Couldn’t perform. Was pleasurable being with them, kinda, but embarrassing. But I’d seen her picture and I just went kinda heck-it and booked her. This was like over two or three years.

ELY : Ah, so you were embarrassed about asking for femdom scene in person?

GB12 : Yes and to be honest, it wasn’t her speciality. Many of the girls on the service said they would do it. But her picture was kind of femdommy - she just looked powerful I think, and she was so beautiful. 

ELY : And over years? She was with the service a long time.

GB12 : Sort of. Maybe. She said  she’d dipped in and out over time as she needed money for studies. She was essentially working her way through grad school with it. But they don’t take a listing down if the girl isn’t working, they just go she’s unavailable and offer a  substitute. I had to request a few times.

ELY : Right. And how did you ask? FIll in a form beforehand? In person?

GB12 : LOL. Yes. I filled that form with a freaking essay. She hadn’t read it the first time, and the second time I just wrote. ‘Just want to talk’. So the first time, I said, like I wanted her to humiliate me but kind of gently and what I liked and she just totally got it straight away. We lay on the bed, her clothed, mostly and me almost naked and she played with my cock and talked about how  she loved  big cocks and how mine was so small. It was amazing and she took it seriously and took  her time. Did I say  that this was incredibly expensive, partly because I was  going for like a four hour session, which is the maximum.

ELY ; Fuck and she’s edging you for  four  hours?
GB12 : More like three but yes. She was  so good at it. Which is partly why I was so conflicted. I had all these feelings but I didn’t really know her at all, and it was, well, not fake, but roleplay, so it was bonkers but it felt so real.

ELY  : So you visit again. Tell her how you feel. She says to get over it  and then, Same scene?

GB12 : Not really. I hadn’t thought  about  it, because I  thought I’d  just talk  and I’d only  booked  two hours, because well, unless things  went spectacularly well, I knew I wouldn’t need long. And well, she kind of took charge, and she let me go down on her and kiss her breasts and then she used some oil and breast play and stuff like that. All for her, which was amazing and then she was going to finish me in her mouth but I asked if I could just rub it between her thighs and she did and she talked to me, gentle femdommy humiliation talk while I did and that just blew my mind. So, as a means to get  over it, it really didn’t work. It made it much worse, More intense. It was like I could see her in my mind’s eye all the time even with my eyes open.

ELY : So, how  long before the third  time?

GB12 : No time at all really. She was finishing grad school and she was leaving the escort service and I was so crestfallen but she was moving to another city which was  actually nearer where I lived and we made an arrangement that I could email her, pay her and  meet. And this was way cheaper for me because the service of course takes a massive cut. So just two weeks later  we met again, but this time we went on a date first.

ELY : Did she call it a date?

GB12 Yes, but she was super-clear on this being a paid  escort thing. I asked her if she was worried  that I would become an obsessed stalker and she said no, I seemed pretty sane and realistic. 

ELY : What was the date?

GB12 :  I agonised over that. But, luckily there was a street festival  that week and so I booked a restaurant and we went for  a meal and then we walked through the festival  - juggling and coconut shies and street performers, which she really liked and we finished at her apartment and she invited me in, but I didn’t want to go in. I  really wanted to but I  was determined to see if we could have a more normal relationship. I know that sounds  nuts, And I said so then, And she just said I was missing out but it was my money. But there was still a half-hour on the clock so she invited me in to watch a TV show we both liked and I did and we had a coffee and then I insisted on going because time was up even though she said I could stay.

ELY : She liked you.

GB12 : She  said so afterwards,  but at the time I was so hyper aware  of how potentially abusive the relationship could be, that I wanted to keep it straight. I went home feeling both elated  and wretched at the same time.

ELY : And still in love?

GB12  More and more and more. But what made it easier  was that since she’d moved we had become friends on an online forum that we both liked - TV and film critique - and we would message each other and like each others’ posts. It felt more normal. But I was thinking about booking her all the time.

ELY : And was she escorting then too, like with other guys?

GB12. Yes. She’d left the escort service but she had kept in touch with other working girls and they sent her johns. 

ELY :  And did that hurt?

GB12 : Everything hurt. I wanted to be with her. I wanted her to feel the same about me. I wanted not to feel shitty about paying her for dates. I hated that she had to do it for money. But actually, her being with other guys, not so much. I mean I worried about her. But since it had started like that, that wasn’t the worst. 

ELY What was the worst?

GB12 : That I thought she didn’t love me and that she never would of course.

ELY ; You thought that? But it wasn’t right?

GB12 : No. We’d dated. Like, me paying her, for a few months - no sex, though she offered, if that makes sense, and then there was a film festival and she messaged me and asked if I wanted to go. Not paying, she said, Just a date.

ELY : And you thought?

GB12 : I thought everything at the same time. She loves me? This is nothing? She just wants someone to go to the cinema and talk about films and this is purely platonic? She loves me. Everything, I must have stared at the text for five minutes before replying.

ELY : And what did you say? 

GB12 : I said I wanted to, but I still felt the same about her. Maybe it would be better not to as it would be too much encouragement for me.

ELY : Wow. What did she say???

GB12. She said she’d thought about it a lot and she hated having me as a John and she wanted to date properly and she knew what I meant about too much encouragement but she thought it would be okay.

ELY : I bet you must have been ecstatic. 

GB12. That’s nearly five years ago. I think I’m still on the same high as I was then.

ELY : So, did you get lucky for free that night?

GB12 : Not really. We spent all night talking about movies and fell asleep. She’d been with a John earlier and didn’t want sex. But we did the next morning.

ELY : Was it femdom?

GB12 : Hard to say? Something between. It’s been sort of femdom flavoured vanilla ever since.

ELY : This may be a shitty question, but do you think she misses the sex work?

GB12 : ???? She is still a sex worker.

ELY : Fuck. After the wedding? Still?

GB12 : I thought I’d made that clear at the start. I never asked her to stop. I  think she would miss it if she did, but it’s her decision. 

ELY : What the fuckity fuck fuck? I do believe you, but I don’t believe this chat. I feel like I’ve wandered into the Twilight Zone, hardcore XXX edition. I shouldn’t be shocked given what me and Francis do, but this is crazy. Not crazy. It’s the sweetest story I’ve ever heard apart from the three others I’ve just heard. But it’s crazy. I have to meet your wife.

GB12 : She thinks you are amazing. You chatted with her a while ago. She is thinking of starting a channel on FemdomClips.com. You gave her some advice.

ELY : I remember!. I didn’t connect the name. Does she change her avatar?

GB12 : Yes. She makes it be a rabbit. I’m the mouse. We really should get two accounts.

ELY : You are getting a free account. Tonight! I am so glad I went for one more story. We  have to do this again.  It was not what I thought it would be AT ALL. I love you guys so much. I was already kind of welled up at the start and now look at me. Jeepers I need to get a grip of myself. So much love here. And lovely weirdness. I  have to leave the stories there and explain the other thing I trailed at the start.

GB12.  Thank you so much for listening. I  was so nervous about talking about this. Nobody else would understand. My parents think my  wife is a realtor. It’s so good to be accepted. 

ELY : Acceptance and truth are our middle names here. Thank you GB12.

ELY : Okay. Ages ago one of our members who wants to  remain anonymous sent me a message. He is a perfumier. Not selling them. Making them. He blends and distills perfumes. He had made one especially for me. Actually he’d made several. Samples. And he wanted me to choose a favorite and he would make a full bottle of ‘Eva’ for me as a gift. 

ELY : Yes, very nice. Probably the nicest present I’ve ever received from anyone bar Francis. So perfume manufacturers  are secretive. He would be in a lot of trouble if it turned out  he’d blended something  and just given  it away, so it has to be anonymous. He’s in the chat now and I just want to say thank you so much to him. This perfume would cost a small fortune if it were on sale, which it never will be. I chose  the one I liked best. It  was easy, as soon as I smelled it I knew this was the one. He called it ‘Musky violet with acid overtones’ So that’s me. However, I wanted to do something different. He sent me a huge bottle. The recipe is now gone. There is only this 500 ml of it in existence. I bought 100 4 ml tiny bottles on ebay and I’ve carefully poured it all out and kept the rest for myself. It is potent. I got Francis  to print 100 little labels. I’m keeping the ‘Eva’ bottle - it’s beautiful too by the way. Here’s the picture. But I’m going to send the 100 others out to (1) All the original xxx.com members who are  still with us. (2) My fellahs from the wedding rehearsal and (3) Everyone who put their hand up for this chat, whether you got called or not. I asked Francis to count them when  we started. Thats nearly all 100.

ELY : Francis has the list and he’s sending a message to  you  all. If you want your  bottle, you need to reply to that with a mailing address and we’ll post  them out to you. We don’t look at your credit card addresses.

ELY : Now I know most of you guys don’t wear perfume but you could put  a little on a cotton hanky and have it waft around when you’re on a chat or watching a video. I will be wearing it from now on and so you will be able to smell what I smell like while you’re watching me.

ELY : I know. It is just  the nicest thing ever. I wish I could send everyone some but I wanted to share it as much as I could. Oh wait. Yes, here’s the bottle. Can you see the label? The one I have is ‘Eva’ but I wanted  to be as honest as I could with you guys. So it’s called CumSlut on the label. 100 limited edition. It doesn’t smell of cum by the way, it’s beautiful. 

ELY : I know. I know but I wanted to be as fair as I could and since it is a gift I can’t sell them, and some sort of first-come first-served thing wouldn’t be fair either so this is my solution. If you reply to the message quickly, then you should have it in the post quickly, postage depending.

ELY : Oh and one more thing. I am going back to Vegas in a week. Not with Bond, but with Francis. We are attending the CSX show at the end of May. It’s kind of a paid gig  since we’re giving a presentation to porn site bigwigs at the show, which is very boring and corporate about churn rates and the  like. But we decided we’d take a booth at  the show and see if we can sell some more porn consultancy now that our gig with XXXX.com is coming to an end. And we’d be delighted to meet any members who can make it to Vegas to say hello and get a selfie with us. 

ELY - Here’s the link. Attendance isn’t pricey. We will only be at the public show on the Saturday, but we will be there all day. I think public entrance is just 25 bucks but they advise going early or late to avoid the big crowds. We will be there from 9 am to 6pm. No break apart from the bathroom. I think  Danny has put a forum link up for anyone who’s going to be there if you want to meet each other. Feel free to use our booth as a meeting point. I would ask that if we look like we’re talking to some tanned stiff in a suit then maybe give us five minutes because we may be trying to get a paid consultancy gig.

ELY : I know. Big day. Thank you everyone. This has been super fun. Please be nice to each other. I will see you all again on Monday evening. Byeeeeee.

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There is so much more of this nonsense. Who am I even writing it for? Wait, I know that one! Me. I'm writing it because I enjoy it.