I'm Swedish but I went to college in Copenhagen, in Denmark. Americans think of Swedes and Danes as very sexually liberated, and we are, mostly, but we're also very conservative societies.
The college I was in was once a military college. It is now a general, co-ed college but some of the traditions remain. In Sweden, colleges often have society houses. These are sort of like fraternities, but they are larger and don't have the same negative connotations. In our college all the societies were formed around the original military branches that the college served. There's an artillery society and a cavalry one. I joined the naval society. For the most part this only showed in the society crest which was on our uniforms. Students don't wear the uniforms except on special occasions like graduation. In most colleges these are just blazers and trousers or skirts and most students don't own or wear one, they just rent one at graduation, unless they're on a sports team who wears them for away games. In ours, of course, they were like military cadet uniforms and you were obliged to own one.
The main point of the societies is that they own and control on-campus student accomodation, usually with little oversight from the college. My naval society had a very nice building with rooms for 50 students over five floors. It was prestigious - you had to apply to get in and have good grades and non-acaedemic achievements. I had very good grades. I showjumped competitively and I was a gymnast. I had no trouble getting in. The naval society was mixed and boys and girls shared the same floors in the dorms. They were actually. rooms - four to a room. This may seem amazing to Americans but not so much in Sweden or Denmark, partly because Swedes and Danes go to college later, everyone is at least 18, often older.
Each floor had a leader and the leaders together with some alumni made a council which made the rules for the house as a whole, but each floor was almost private and self-regulating by tradition.
So, now to Nollning - sorry this is taking so long to set up, but it's important you understand how the college worked. You may have heard of Nollning. It's in almost every Swedish and most Danish Univiersites. It's often compared to hazing but it's not the same. For a start, it happens in public. New cadets (we were called cadets, no matter what we studied) had to go through an initiation. So, the differences - for one, these cadets were already accepted. You didn't have to do it. But everyone does, becuase it's fun. The new cadets are made to dress in costumes. Often these are dresses or baby outfits or something like that. Sometimes, uniforms in other colleges, but ours did different stuff every year. They then do a series of tasks. Marching. Juggling? Skipping? It really can be anything. This is always outdoors and often it's outside the college, in a park or the street. They are put through these tasks by the senior members of the society, who are always in the society uniform.
Often there's drinking and loud noise and students generally causing a ruckus, but the new recruits aren't running wild - they have to follow the orders of the older recruits and part of the fun is that they take the whole thing completely seriously. Which is very Swedish in itself. Do something silly in a a very serious way, to poke. fun at pomposity and the futility of life in general.
I went through Nollning and loved it. We had to shovel huge. amounts of foam from one enormous bath to another, while wearing ostrich costumes. If we dropped the foam we were shouted at and told we wer bad ostriches and had to bury our heads in the sand - actually buckets of foam.
I loved my society. When I moved in I resolved to try to become leader of my floor by next year. I was a model student and society member. I was helpful and dilligent. I helped other cadets. with study. I made sure we always had supplies in the closets. I organised laundry rotas, all those things.
I shared my room with one other girl and two guys. I liked all of them. Anna was shy and funny. Kind of alternative. She had piercings and listened to British bands. Anders and Loonka were both actual military, now on a sabattical from the navy to pursue engineering degrees before returning. The rest of the floor were also really nice, and all boys. Anna and I were the only girls on our floor.
My goody-goody helpfulness did not go unnoticed. I was pretty open about wanting to be elected leader. I got a little teasing. I realise now that I was subkimating a lot of sexual engery into being the best cadet ever. Once, after I'd spent ages getting things ready for a festival Anders said he hoped I never got s boyfriend to have sex with me, or the floor wouldn't get any pancakes next year. (The festival always had traditional pancakes).
This hurt me. I cried. I. felt unappreciated. Anna scolded Anders and comforted me. But it hurt because I knew it was true. I was annoyingly helpful and precocious. I thought people laughed at me.
Anders was so sorry. He really hadn't meant it. I didn't blame him. I burst out that he was probably right. I'd never had a proper boyfriend. I was a virgin. I just wanted to be leader and have everyone like me because I had nothing else in my life.
Anders felt wretched. He was so sorry. He said he and Loonka would help me to do all the things I was doing on the floor and anything I needed to be elected leader. He said everyone loved me and nobody thought I was silly. Anna was supportive too and I felt like I'd manipulated them with my emotional outburst.
The room had a bed in each corner and communal lockers and wardrobes. There was a separate study area. Around each bed was a curtain, kind of like in a hospital, to give a little privacy. From the start, we'd never used the curtains. I changed in front of the guys and Anna and they did the same. It's the Swedish way. Sometimes I'd see the guys look over at me or Anna, and I'd taken a few looks at them. But what I also noticed was Anna looked at my body even more than the guys. I thought maybe she was guy or bi. This didn't bother me in the least.
After this little scene, Anna shooed the boys away and scolded Anders some more. I heard her say they'd better mean it about helping. I lay on my bed, feeling tired. Anna pulled over my curtains and lay down beside me.
"Everyone loves you Frida." She said. "Don't feel it so much. You will be leader and we will all vote for you. Anders didn't mean what he said."
I thanked her. I told her I felt bad for overreacting and I hoped Anders wasn't hurt. All the while, she stroked my. face and my hair. It was lovely.
I asked her if she would sleep in my bed with me. She laughed. "Oh the boys would like that." She said. "And me. but no. I can't take advantage of you when you're all sniffly and vulnerable. You sleep on your own and know we appreciate you and you keep on doing what you do. We love you being who you are."
And she got up and pulled back the curtain. Anders looked over sheepishly and I smiled at him to let him know I was alright.
I felt different from then on. Somehow I was even closer to my floor mates. I knew they did like me and I was less in-your-face with all my helping, which probably made me a bit easier to bear. Not only Anders and Loonka helped me, but Anna too and all the other floor-mates. It was lovely. but now, I felt lonely. I kept thinking about how Anders and Loonka had hugged me and how it had felt when Anna stroked my hair and my face. I kept thinking about them and not just them, all the guys on my floor. I never masturbated. I'd never learned how. I knew Anna did. Sometimes I would hear her at night. Many of the boys had girlfriends at college but they were not allowed on the floor. That may seem weird given it was mixed but it was just part of the rules.
Sometimes I went to Gymkhanas to ride. Usually this was out of town, but one time, shortly after. the crying incident I went to one nearby. There were no changing rooms, so after my parents left with my horse I just went back to the dorm. Anders was there. He'd never seen me in my riding clothes. It was the fternoon and we were alone. He looked at me and I looked at him and there was a moment. He liked me, like that. He wanted me. And I wanted him so badly. But I had no clue what to. do about it. And anyway, my room-mate. It would be weird.
After I'd changed I went looking for Anna. She was in the study room. I said I had to talk to her. Anders had gone to class so we sat on my bed. I told her I was just bursting with horniness.
"For Anders?" She asked. "Yes. And for everyone. For Loonka, for you. I just want everyone." I groaned. "I'm just a mass of hormones and lust. He was right. I just need to be fucked."
"Frida. Please." She said. "Don't throw youself at someone just because you're horny. It should be someone you really like."
"I like everyone on my floor." I said. "Even Steven."
Steven was slightly overweight and very geeky, but I did like him. I liked his hair and he was always so kind. I would sometimes let him get a glimpse of my boobs if I had a low neck. top on.
"And me." Said Anna.
"Especially you." I said. "You laughed when you said the boys would like to see us together but I've thought about that all the time. I'd love to let them see us together. What. could be better?"
She smiled again. "Oh Frida. You feel it all so much. Don't you ever, you-know, bring yourself off?"
"I don't know how." I said. "I tried when I was younger but it felt strange."
Then I had a sly thought. "Will you show me?"
She laughed again. "Oh you little minx." She said. "You're like a kid trying to manipulate me."
"I'm sorry." I said. "I'm not trying to play you. I just wish it was that way."
"What way?"
"That we could, you-know, have sex together, here, the four of us."
She rolled her eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe you don't like boys, but it's just, you know, a fantasy."
She grinned. "I do like boys too." She said. "And you just need to learn how to do this, then you can fantasise all you like. Listen. You probably just need to use a little lube. Use some lotion. Find a quiet spot and let your imagination go wild. JUst touch yourself gently at first and let your mind do the work. Soon enough it won't feel weird, it'll feel nice."
"Is that what you do? At night? What do you fanstasise about?" I asked.
She laiughed again. "You would freak out at my fantasies." She said. "But tonight, I think I'll be borrowing yours."
she gave me a kiss before leaving me on my bed, thinking. I loved her smell and the feel of her lips. I thought hard how it had felt, replayed it. in my mind to remember.
That night I had a good look at. Anders and Loonka as they got changed for bed. Anders gave me another look but he looked embarrased too. I gave him. a smile.
I was so keyed up to try. I lay awake. thinking. I wanted to wait for them to sleep. I'd put a tube of hand lotion beneath. my pillow, ready. I counted down an hour, listening to Anders and Loonka to make sure they were asleep. Then I heard Anna. She was always so quiet but I could hear her breathing. I longed to just get out of bed. and join her. Hug her. Kiss her. Put my hands on her and feel hers on. me. I squeezed a little of the cream onto my fingers and slid it over my lips gently. I imagined I was with her. They were her fingers. I recalled her scent. I imagined putting my hands on her, on her pussy. Her breasts. Heard her breath catch. I imagined the blanket falling away and seeing Anders and Looka watching us. Imagined cocking my head and smiling at them. Beckoning.
My fingers were moving faster and I was rubbing hard on my. clit. I used some more of the lotion. Lots of it. I tried to keep as quiet as possible and listened hard. I could still hear Anna doing the. same. I rubbed harder and imagined Anders kissing me and me opening my legs for him while Looka stroked mhy breats and Anna cradled myhead. I looked over. She was rolled over, staring at me. It was dark, too dark. to see but I could see her eyes, wide. Her face looked strgane. I stared back, and rubbed very hard and fast, trying to make out her face. in the gloom.
We came at the same time, almost silently, I thought and I felt my legs tremble and my heart pound. She looked away and tried to getmyself back under. control.
It had felt incredible. I was eighteen and had only just learned to masturbate. How muuch better was the real thing. I should have cleaned myself up but I felt so relaxed and comfy I just fell asleep as I was, my legs wide and the tube lost somewhere in the sheets.
The next day, Anna sought me out on campus. "No need to ask how it went." She said. She seemed shy.
"Thank you." I said. "The lotion really helped. Do you think I was quiet enough."
She laughed. "Oh I think they heard."
"Oh really? No. I was so quiet."
She laughed again. "You think? I could hear. you breathing so hard and you made a noise when you came. It wasn't very loud but they definitely knew what we were doing."
"Oh god." I said. "But I don't know if. I care really. Do you think they'll find it annoying?"
"Maybe." She laughed. "But will it make you stop? They already lust after you all the time. You're torturing them even more."
"Oh, I don't mean to." I said, shocked. "I don't want them all horny. Do you realluy think they lust after me? They probably would lust after any. girl who shares their room."
"Oh Frida." She said. "They adore you. You think they would take orders from any girl like they. do from you?"
It was true. I bossed them around. And the other guys on the floor. Ever since they'd started helping me I would ask them, tell them really to do chores. Take out the trash. Buy milk. Clean up. It was like before, almost like I was already leader and they were obliged to do what I told them. I liked things. done right. That our floor should be perfect. When I was on another floor they looked shabby and uncared for. On our floor everyone was helpful and polite and there was always milk in the pantry.
Later that day I met Looka. I looked shy and so did he. He asked if I had any competitions coming up. I said no, there were no more that season. Just practice. He asked where I practiced and I told him and he asked if he could come and watch some day. This was odd. Nobody, even boyfriends came to practice, but I said okay.
I wondered if this was a way. of asking me on a date on his own? It was odd. We went on what Americans might call dates all the time. Movies, bars. college events, restraunts. Me and Anders and Loonka or Anna and any combination, and I'd been to eat or see a movie with Loonka many times but this felt different.
That evening, when I changed I saw my riding clothes in my wardrobe and I realised. Anders saw me in my jacket and jodphurs. He thought I looked hot. He told Loonka. He's never seen me ride. He wants to see me.
It was early evening. Loonka and Anders were still studying. I changed quickly into my riding gear. Boots and evetyhting. I put my hair in a bun like I would if I was jumping, but I. thought the helmet would be too much.
When Anna came in she gave me a look. "Riding, at this time? In the dark?"
I grinned. "Don't say anything." I said.
When Anders and Loonka came in, they did a double take. Anna and I acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. I tidied my. wardrobe. and polished my shoes, all in my riding clothes. I let them have a good look at my ass in the tight trousers. It. was funny and. I had a. hard time not laughing.
Eventually I had to. change for bed. I asked Loonka "Loonka. would you help me take off my boots?"
He rolled his. eyes as he came over. I sat on the bed, and he squatted in front of me to help me take them. off.
"Why are wearing your outfit Frida?" He asked.
"It would. be weird. if you came to practice." I said. "So. I thought I'd give you what you wanted here in our room."
I hadn't been one hundred. percent sure I was right about this until I saw his face but then I was. His mouth opened wide and Anders and Anna laughed.
I gave him a nice look. "Don't mind them Loonka." I said quietly. "I hope you had a good look. I liked to do it for you. Maybe you have something now to use in your imagination. It's only fair. I thought about you and Anders last night."
He grinned. "I know. We heard. Wait. Really me? Us?"
"And Anna." I said shyly.
"Oh my God, Frida. You are so special." He said. "I love how you look in your riding clothes but you are so much more than that."
My boots were off. and I dangled my feet. on the edge of the bed as he went back to his own side.
Anna was giving me a look. Was it a warning? Shock? A question? I cocked my head on one side at her and he eyes flicked to the bathroom.
I went in and she followed me.
"What are you doing?" She hissed. "You're encouraging them."
"I know." I said. "Is that wrong?"
"It's not fair Frida. You're teasing them. Anders and Loonka will think they have a chance with you."
I goggled a bit. "They do." I said. "I would do it with them. I'd love to."
She rolled her eyes, exasperated. "What would that do. You like things as they are. If you went with one of them, the other would be crushed. And they are good friends. Best friends. What would it do to their friendship. I know you mean well, but this would be chaos. You wouldn't like it."
"I wouldn't go with one without the other." I said quetly. I nearly added "Or you." But she was gasping at me again.
"Jesus. You really mean this, don't you? I'm sorry I encouraged you. That's just a fantasy. It couldn't happen. Life is messier than that."
"Please don't be angry with me Anna." I said. "Maybe you're right. And I would die before I would harm their friendship. But would it have to be like that? People have sex with one person, then another all the time. If we are all good friends, it doesn't have to mean jealousy. I would love to share mhyself with them." Then I said. "And you." before she had a chance to say anything.
She closed. her eyes. "No. Maybe it might work once. But it would be lucky if it did and then there. would be bound to be jealousy. It would just happen. Trust me."
"Would you be jealous. I know you would like to be with me. I can see it in your eyes."
She closed them, as if trying to shut away her feelings. "No. I wouldn't be jealous. I love you too much and it's just how you are. But boys are different. It's ... it's in their wiring. They wouldn'f fight but one would be hurt."
"Not if I shsred them equally and you were with us."
"Fuck. Frida! No. That won't be happening. It's a nice fantasy. I get it. But you need to keep reality and fantasy separate. You can't control everything like you do those boys. Emotions are unpredictable and if you play with them someone will be hurt."
"Okay Anna." I said. "I'm sorry."
"Aaaagh." She groaned. "You're making me be the bad guy, wrecking your fun. You are the one who would be the most hurt. I know you love them, And me. If there was arguing and tears it would break your hear most of all. Don't you see, it's you I'm trying to protect."
"I'm just sorry I made you angry and upset. It's okay. Please. I won't tease any more. I won't. I see you're right. You know best."
She grabbed me and hugged me. "Oh Frida. I love you. Please don't hate me." She whispered.
"I could never hate you." I said, hugging her back and feeling her shaking in my arms. "I love you most of all. Boys are boys but it's you I really love."
She groaned again. "Oh God. I want you so bad now. And I would be the world's biggest hypocrite."
"They woulnd't mind." I said.
"I know. But I would. Oh Christ you make things so complicated."
We hugged for a bitlonger and then she let me go. She started to brush her teeth and I went back to change. I saw Anders and Looka look away quickly. They probably couln't hear words, but they could guess she'd scolded me. They gave me supporting looks but I felt bad. I went to bed and decided not to masturbate. It would be too sad.
So I entered another phase. I was still being top girl on our floor but I supressed all my urges again. I masturbated in the toilet, thinking of Anna or Loonka or Anders or sometimes other guys from our floor. I didn't do it in bed again. Anna and I were still good friends but I didn't talk to her about sex stuff any more. Occasionally I thought I saw her look at me guiltily but we didn't talk about it.
And so the year ended. And we broke up for the Summer. At the end of the year, we would move up a floor and we could choose new room partners. There was a signup sheet. I brought it to Anna.
"Anna, do you want to share with me again?" I asked. And suddenly her eyes filled with tears.
"Yes. Yes of course I do. How could you ask that?" She sobbed. I'd never seen her cry before.
"I, eh ... what? It's just. for the sheet. I have to ask everyone." I said. "I didn't mean. anything. Oh please don't cry Anna. Please."
"I know I'm a bitch. I spoiled it all. Maybe it might have worked. Maybe it wouldn't but at least we could have tried. and now you look so sad all the time. I should have trusted you." She sobbed.
"No. No. No. No. No." I said. "That's buyllshit. You said what you said to protect me. Please. No. I'm. not sad. Look. Please. I know, I haven't talked to you about this but I still love you and I just don't want to upset you. Look. Here's your name. And mine. Look I'm putting hearts between us. Look. Everyone will see. I love you Anna. Please. don't cry. Don't blame yourself. I am so lucky to have you as a friend."
She laughed and creid when she saw the little hearts between our names. Snot came out fo her nose like a little kid and I wiped it with a tissue and then I kissed her. And then, with her tears and snot and saliva she tasted so good I kissed more. With my tongue and she responded fiercely and we were gripping each other tight. Tight enough to hurt and I burned for her.
"No more silences." She said, gasping as we broke apart. "
"No. And if you need to tell me off, do it. I'm not a child." I said. "Don't feel you can't or shouldn't. Please. I want your advice and your correction."
She hugged me tight. "How will we maange apart for the Summer?"
I was to go to a riding camp with the national team for the whole Summer. Anna was going to technical training with the Navy. She was thinking of becoming an. actual cadet, of all things. Anders and Loonka would go to train youngsters at a Summer camp.
"I will write. Even to the boys, tthough they won't write back."
"Maybe they will have girlfriends next year." Said Anna.
"Hah. I don't care. They still belong to me. See, I'm putting their names down too. I won't even ask them. I own their asses."
She laughed and we hugged again and that was the last time we saw. each other that term.
I did write and she wrote back. I wrote to Anders and Loonka too and they did write back. Just one letter. They wrote paragraphs turn about. They said the camp was boring and the looked foreard to retrning to college.
I came back a week early. As floor leader I had to help prepare the house and be ready to vet our new cadets. It was weord being. ther without them.
I put my runners up national evebnt cup on my shelf and hung up my riding uniform. I also had my new cadet uniform. It was smart. A fitted blazer and navy skirt and a cadet cap. I loved it. As leader I got gold braid on my epaulettes, and a red brim on the cap. So smart.
I had volounteered to organsise the Nollning. I decided an equetrian theme. Girls as riders, boys as horses. This year it was a fifty-fifty split. I borrowed horse outfits and got cream leggings and red jsackets for the girls. They would parade and do dressage. Hilarious and difficult.
The new recruits were already there. when the seniors arrived. I was busy but I said hi to my friends and gave them their tasks to organise the new recruits. We were all in uniform. Anna and Anders and Loonka were delighted to see me. In my new role as their leader I could be as bossy as I liked. I played up to it, pointing at my brim as my mark of authority. I could tell they liked it, though Anna rolled her eyes a bit.
We put the new recruits through their paces. It was funny. They loved it. It's not mean, and it's all done in fun. I hadn't thought through the hose outfits. It was early Summer and the ground was hard. The boys hurt their hands on stones and the earth so instead we did it as piggy-back which was slightly sexy and after we were done I think some of them paired off.
The Nollning was on the campus lawn. There were other groups and a tent with first aid and music and low-alcohol beer. When it was winding down I went in to the tent and sat to do some paperwork and pay the contractors. There were different parts to the tent with internal walls, just tent flaps really. From where I sat quetly I could see something odd below one of these walls. Feet and then two calves in front of them, kneeling. It was unmistakable. Someone was getting a blowjob. From another boy. The tent was quiet - everyone was leaving. I heard a voice, In the tent it was clear. Loonka.
"Anders," He said. "Oh God. This is so risky."
I got up stealthily and looked around the flap trough the join. He was cradling Anders head gently while he sucked on his cock. Anders arms were wrapped around his waist. Loonka's cock looked huge. I'd never seen him erect before. I'd never seen a man doing this, ever. I'd only ever seen a woman do it in porn.
What drew me though was the way Loonka was stroking Ander's hair. So tenderly. Ander's hands were in the small of Loonka's back. his finger spread. It was so intimate. So loving. Nothing like porn. I was more embarrased at seeing their tenderness with each other than the shock of their sex act. I was confused. Should I go away, say nothing. Was that sneaky. Should I disturb them. Would they be ashamed?
But then someone came in on the far side of the tent. I hurried to sit again. They hadn't seen me. I gestured to the other leader to follow me out so they wouldn't hear our voices and the moment passed. Later I saw them together. They waved and smiled. How had I not realised before. They were always together. Did Anna know? Did everyone?
I finished the day in a daze. When I gave the little speech welcoming our new cadets I got a great. cheer. "We love you Frida.:" They shouted and the other leaders presented me with a medal. It was chocolate but I loved it anyway. "You know me so well." I said. "I love medals and I love you guys too."
I unwrapped it and ate it and for. some reason they. all went "oooh" as if I'd done something very sexy and I laughed. It was a lovely day.
We went to. a bar and I talked with all the new recruits and the other leaders. I lapped up the compliments on the Nollning and my organisational skills. I lived for this stuff. Anders and Loonka and Anna sat together and waved to me but when I went over they shooed me away. "You can habg with us any time Frida. Make the most of your day. You deserve it."
We played drinking games but I tried not to drink too much. When the singing started I asked Anna if she wanted to go. "Yiu want to go, honey?" She. asked. "We'll go when you want to."
They had waited for me. I said yes, and we all went together. Anna linker arm with mine and we walked in front of the boys.
We atalked about our Summer. They'd seen my trophy in the room when they put away their clothes and they congratulated me back at the room.
Sitting on the bed I felt tired but happy. "I love my uniform." I said. "But it's so uncomfortable."
"I know." Said Anna. "Take it off."
The buys looked over but with Anna's encouragement I stripped off the blazer and the skirt and shoes and relaxed in just my blouse and pantyhose.
Anna did the same, smiling. She had relaxed a lot.
"You don't mind, do you boys?" She asked.
Anders and Loonka laughed. "No, but you'll want us to do the same."
"Come on." Said Anna. "I bet you are half naked in the army half the time."
Anders laughed again. "You imagine! We were stationed at Lulea in the Baltic most of the time. We wore thermal underwear and coats!"
Anna said. "Thermal underwear! Oh fuck, When I was llittle I would see those flyers in the Sunday papers - you know for thermal underwear. Really for old people but the models would be these hunky guys and I would steal them."
"To use like porn?" Asked Loonka.
"Yes!" She admitted, llaughing with embarrasement at the memore.. I was in a religious all-girls school. I was so innocent. There wasn't much material to use. "
"And now when you see a man in long drawers and. vest, you think it's sexy?"
"Yes. It is! Do you have some?"
They all roared laughing.
"Oh come on. You're shocking Frida." Said Loonka. "Look, she's embarrased."
"I'm not." I said. "I. just like listening. Tell me. Why did everyone Oooh. when I ate the medal."
"Oh! You didn't get it. Katerina, who presented it, was supposed to say, it's special chocolate, from the place in Holland. It's made with stuff, suppsed to be an aphrodisiac. Nonsense, but it's. sold that way. One of. the. leaders brought it back from his holiday and she was supposed to tell you this before the presentation but she chickened out."
Anna said. "She didn't chicken out. It was teasing and she didn't want to do it. It was all meant in. fun Frida. She didn't realise everyone had heard this story about the chocolate."
"Does everyone think I'm so innocent? That I would be shocked at sexy chocolate."
"Nooooo." Said Anders. "Oh. this is silly. It wasn't even really. meant as a joke. It's just, well, everyone likes you so much, but you never have a boyfriend, or girlfriend. It was like, a, well, like an encouragement. It really wasn't mocking you."
"Like, hurry up and get with someone?" I asked.
"Sort of. I don't think it was even that much thought through."
"It's okay. I'm not insulted." I said. "I mean, everyone was so nice to me today, even the new ones. And the leaders. I put so much work into it, but it was worth it. I love being appreciated. I wish I hadn't eaten the chocolate. Not because of that. But I wish I had kept it as a souvenir. I mean, people didn't laugh at me. I just didn't understand."
Anna came over. "It was lovely today. You will. be a great leader. The new ones look up to you already."
Anders had gone into the bathroom already and then Loonka followed. They seemed furtive somehow but Anna was sitting near me, and even though we were only half undressed I still felt such a strong attraction.
"Listen." I said. "I want to tell you something. But it's, well, it's I don't know if I should or not. But I have to. I saw Anders giving Loonka a blow job."
"What? When?" She seemed very surprised. It wasn't just me.
"Phew. You didn't know this either. I wondered if I was the only innocent one here. In the. Nollning tent near the end. They didn't see me. I didn't mean to pry and I, I don't want. to keep secrets from them. I want to tell them I saw."
"Oh. Fuck. That is a pickle." She said. "If you didn't mean to. But, fuck, I don't know. Maybe this is a new rhing. Or a one-off?"
"Oh Anna. I din't think so. I mean, this may sound stupid. But I think they love each other. I mean, it was just the way. it was. Not just sex. It was more."
"Wow. You looked a bit dazed. I thought you were just tired and overwhelmed with the day. But you'd just seen that. I think I would react the same."
Just then, the two of them strode out. of the bathroom, with huge grins on their. faces. They were both wearing long johns and thick vests down to their wrists. Their baltic underwear.
Anna shrieked. with. laughter. They looked so. pleased with themselves. Loonka stalked across the room. like he was on a catwalk. Anders posed as if he was in one of those adverts in a magazine, hand on hip, looking into the distance.
Anna thought this was the funniest thing ever. Loonka came over and lifted her up and danced with her, placing her hand on his ass. Anders came over to me and I did the same. He felt so nice. I'd never been quite so close to him since the time he'd hugged me when I cried.
I hugged him close. Closer than a friend. I whispered to him. "I never did get a boyfriend. I'm still the same Frida doing the chores." I whispered.
He grinned but kindly. "I'm glad. But maybe let the chocolate do it's work..."
I gave him a little punch and put my head on his shoulder and squeezed him. Then I pushed him. to sit on his bed. He looked up at me but I pulled Loonka from Anna and pushed him to sit beside him.
"I have to tell you something." I said. "I don't like to have a secret. I'm no good at it. I saw you both today in the tent."
I saw the realisation jump onto their faces. "Please. I'm sorry." I said. "I wasn't prying but I saw your feet below the flap and. I looked around. I don't want to have a secret and I love you both so much, I just wanted to tell you I know. You looked so good together. So tender. It was kind of. beautiful and I just had to tell you."
"And Anna." Said Anders looking a bit sick.
"She told me she saw already."
Loonka groaned. "Don't tell anyone else. It's hard enough in the. military already."
"I would never tell anyone else." I said, a little insulted. "But Anna .., she's one of us. I .... I don't have any secrets from her. either."
Anders looked from one to the other of us.
"You're not mad, are you? I mean, you don't have secrets. We talked about telling you over and over, but then, people know and if it gets back to our unit, it's complicated."
"But you like girls, too right?" Said Anna. "I mean, you guys stare at me and Frida all the time."
"Oh yeah. Of course." Said Loonka, "I mean, wait, no we don't or at least, we don't mean to. You two are always stripping off in front of us, especially you Frida. You never thought we were gay, right, so you knew we would look."
"I like you looking." I said. "I mean, you're friends. More than friends. You love each other. So it's natural to feel attracted."
Anders smiled. "And if we're sharing secrets here. You two? We always wonder. Are you? Have you ever?"
Anna looked away. "No. It's complicated ..."
"It's not. It's simple." I said. "Or at least it is now."
"Frida ..." Said Anna.
"Please. You said. Maybe. You said. And now. You see?"
"But Frida..."
"No. Please. I want to say." I said.
Anna shrugged and pushed Anders and Loonka apart on the bed. She squeezed between them, looking up at me expectantly. "Go on. If ever there is a time, this is it."
"I .. I love all of you. I want. I want us to be together. Like that. I want Anna most of all. And you gus both of you. I .. I never was with anyone and I don't want to choose. I love you all so much. I know. you love me too. And I want it to be more. But all of us."
"She wants to go from virgin to a foursome in one step." Said Anna.
"And you?" Said Anders. "You say no?"
She looked down. "I didn't say no. But I said maybe it would wreck our friendship. Yours and Loonka especially. Complicate things. And I wouldn't want that. Especially not for Frida. She is so, well, Frida and if you were hurt, it would hurt her and I don't think I could take that."
"It doesn't have to go wrong." Said Loonka. "And even if it didn't work, we wouldn't be like, hating each other. Not if we are open and trust each other. I wish now we had said. about us before. We were so used to keeping it secret in the army, it became a habit and then, it was difficult and people don't understand. I mean, I don't think we are gay. We have never been with anyone else. Wouldn't want to. Ick boys." He laughed. "But, yes, I love Anders, it's different. And I love you two girls. Being your friend and helping you is the best part of college."
I noticed that all this time Anna's hands had been roaming further over the boys thighs. Her own legs in her dark stockings were crossed but she was feeling all over their legs.
Anders saw my eyes too. "Anna seems to have moved of from this discussion." He said, calmly.
"I think we're done." She said. "You've heard my objections, from Frida, and I think we should vote. If anyone doesn't think we should do this, then we won't."
"I think I find it hard to concentrate on my decision with your hand on my cock Anna." Said Loonka.
"It's not on your cock. It's on your thigh. Not even, it's on your lovely underwear. And anyway, we know how you will vote. You've been staring at Frida like a lost puppy since she stripped off."
"Since the first day she arrived." He sighed. "Yes. I vote yes. But I understand if anyone else .."
"I vote yes too." Said Anna interrupting. "And I will deny ever having objected in the past."
"I will vote last." Said Anders. "I don't want Frida to have to make a final vote."
"Welll that's stupid. You're admitting you'd vote yes by saying that. Obviously I vote yes too. But I want to do this like I imagined it would be."
"Okay. You have me. I would vote yes too. What do you mean. What did you imagine."
"That me and Anna would be togeher and you would see us and join us." I said, my eyes locked on Anna.
"Fuck yes." Said Anna. "But I'm sorry. I have to add something. We have to be open. We're all together now but is it okay if, later, we are together as couples? Is that cheating."
"Not if we know, if it's not secret." Said Anders.
"No. I'm sorry. I'm leader." I said, moving to sit on Anna's lap. "It wouldn't be okay between boy and girl That has to be together. But it would be okay between Anders and Loonka because you were already together, and it's okay between me and Anna because girls are special and we can break rules."
"That sounds fair." Said Anders. "Though I don't know why."
"Because I say. so." I said and I kissed Anna like I'd always wanted to and our breasts pressed together. We broke apart a bit. Anna's eyes looked hooded and filmy. Her lips twitched a bit. I looked to Anders and Lonka, smiling. I moved their hands onto my thighs and opened my blouse a little more and went back to kissing Anna.
With my encouragement they let their hands roam over us as we kissed and I felt myself grinding on her, looking for purchase as our slick nylons rasped over each other.
"You tell us what to do." whispered Loonka. "We don't want to be too forward."
"Do what you want." Said Anna. "Touch me anywhere. I'm gone. Sorry. Frida said she was in charge. I just want to be here being touched by you guys."
"Push the beds together. Oh and lock the door, please." I said, and took off my blouse the rest of the way. Anna lay down, looking a bit woozy.
I lay beside her and put my arm underneath her neck, stroking her hair with my hand. With the other, I roamed over her body, feeling her breasts and her belly and then down to her crotch.
I whispered to her. "Tell me if i do anything you don't like."
"Oh Frida. I like everything you do. Just keep doing that." She said. I motioned with my head to the two boys to lie beside us. I noticed there were flaps on their long johns.
"You want to open those up?" I asked. "I'd love to see."
"And me." gasped Anna. They glanced at each other and unbuttoned the flaps. I could already see their erections distending the cotton but it was still incredibly exciting to see their cocks loose out of the long johns. I'd thought they looked silly but now, with their cocks in their hands they looked incredibly sexual in a way I'd never seen them before.
"Oh we have such good boys don't we Frida?" Moaned Anna. "They do everything you want."
"Well right now, they need to just wait and watch, Anna. I want to play with you first."
I unbottened her blouse and pulled her bra cups down. Hers were much bigger than mine and her nippled were surrounded with a large dark areola. Her nipples were puffy and firm. I swirled one with my hand while I pulled off her panties and pantyhose with the other. One nipple slid into my mouth and I sucked on it hard while I massaged the other. Then back and forth, I lay on her, between her lesgs with Loonka and Anders on either side and rubbed my chest on her crotch while I sucked on her. I reared up again and lifted my arms. They guessed what I wanted and unbottoned my blouse. I left the bra for the moment and went back down. I gripped her boobs in my hands and tongued open her lips before lapping and raspoing on her clit with my tongue. I went hard and she reared up, grabbiing my hair and bucking. I slobbered and licked as well as I could and then slid up beside her and cradled her head in my arms to one side. I smiled at my two boys.
"Well, who's first?" I tesased. "You choose Anna."
"Either. No, Anders. Loonka already had a blow job today." She groaned. "Just do me please."He wriggled between her gaping legs and positioned himself. I grinned at him and gave Anna a kiss. I leaned in. "I want to see this so much." I moaned.
"Yes. Show her. Show her." Moaned Anna. "Show her how you'll make her come too."
His cock slid in easily. He backed out again and slid in again and her pussy lips strecthed around him. Anna grunted in pleasure.
"Oh Jesus, Anders, you really do like girls too." She moaned.
I felt Loonka take my arm,
"You want to lie down beside her?" He asked.
"Oh yes. Please. Do us both together. That's what I wanted."
He laid me down beside Anna, even as Anders was pumping in to her. He made room but I wriggled so we were lying against each other, side to side and I gripped her hand.
I felt Loonka peel off my pantyhose, my legs high in the air. It felt so good. I bit my lip and glanced at Anna. She looked amazing. Her hands were on Anders chest. He was sliding in and out of her, her ankles on his shoulders. With one hand he supported himself, with the other he stroked her clit with his thumb. His brow was furrowed with concentration, like he looked when he was studying. All his concentration was on making her feel good. Anna's other hand fluttered over. her breasts, cupping and stroking them as they bounced on her chest. Her other hand gripped and squeezed mine. She looked at me, her chest heaving and smiled at me and my heart skipped.
I felt Loonka gentrly tug at my panties. I looked back at him, and lifted my legs either side of his head, resting them on his chest. "I love you Loonka" I said quietly. "Thank you for this." He grinned.
"Please, don't thank me." He said. "I am the luckiest guy in the world. I just hope this is good for you. I'm not as good as Anders."
I just smiled at him. Feeling him pull off my panties felt incredible. I saw he didn't just toss them aside, but placed them neatly beside me. I loved him all the more for that. I licked my fingers and put them over my pussy, but when I touched my lips, I felt they were all wet anyway. He leaned forward and nudged it at my pussy. I arched my back and pressed against him. He reached down and slid his thumb over my clit like ANders was doing and the combination of the feel of his cockhead and his thumb made me tremble as if was freezing.
"Fuck. Do it. Please Loonka. I'm so ready for this. Please, just enjoy me giving myself to you."
He glanced at Anders and they both smiled at me and I felt Loonka push forward into me, all the while thrumming gently on my clit
I hesrd myself groan. and my legs flapped and then I felt Anna's hands on me and my head lifted and I saw the lngth of Loonka's beautiful vock engulfed in me. My pussy was tight and muscular. Ten years of horseriding leaves you with a muscular groin area and my hymen had split years ago. Loonka pressed hard, his. fsce searchin gmine for pain but I just pressed harder against him, nodding to encourage him and urging him to bury it all the way in. His groin touched mine and he leaned down to kiss me, his moustache rasped my lip and I bit and sucked on his lips like I was posessed.
"Hard please. I'm tight but it feels so good." I whispered. He leaned back and slid out and back again, grunting and I felt my back arch as if it had a mind of it's own and I grunted some swear words in Swedish and Anna barked a laugh and I wriggled my hand to lock fingers with here.
I twisted my head to look into her face, more so I could keep a lid on what i felt. If I looked at Loonka I would lose it altogether. Her face was sheened with sweat.
She was shaking her her head. "Sorry. I kept. This. From you." She was gasping. "You were right."
I coulcn't laugh, the. feeling was too intense. I shook my head at Loonka and he frowned, slowing.
"It's okay. It's okay. It's just too much." I moaned. "Slow down. I'm sorry."
He shook his head, "No problem."
We lay together being fucked by our beautiful boys for a minute, then Anna suggested we swap. She wanted to flip over but I wanted to see Ander's face and so the boys switched. Anders was longer but thinner than Loonka. It felt different. Deeper and not so intense. He lifted my legs over his shoulders and I reared up on my back a bit for him so he could lean into me. Anna was close to coming. She was gasping and the more intense feeling and her sounds drove me over too. Within half a minute I realised I was having an orgasm myself. I opened my mouth and nodded at Anders. "Please. Please come in me baby." I moaned. He shookhis head but. I saw him let himself go a bit and my body warmed like a glove.
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