Replacement Feedback.

Ashley's been reading your mail.

Thanks for all our comments. 

Here's my reaction to some of them. There's some spoilers in here for chapters I haven't published. Also, I haven't credited anyone as I'm not sure if they'd want even their fake internet names used, and some of these came by email. 

Ashley's workplace

I like that you’re going to have Ashley’s choices have an impact on the story. One of the most unrealistic aspects of the original novels was that she cheated on Dave at a work event with zero consequences. Since she’s good looking, some of the men above her might not care, but there’s probably quite a few female executives or middle management that would be judgmental. Especially because some of them have probably met Dave and thought he was a nice guy.

and

The idea of girls at work being catty and calling her a slut and what not and Ashley leaning on Dave to make her feel better about it is amazing.

I'm not so interested in what happens at her work from a HR perspective, but rather on how Ashley feels about other people's reactions. Since very few people do know but a lot of people at her workplace do know there's opportunity there. I haven't written anything about that but I think if/when. I do, Ashley will say a few things. First that when Jim blabs about the bathroom. she felt conscious about the rumours. She really didn't think he would talk. And when he does, this freaks her out, which is part of the reason she tries to cover it up. Maybe, she says, even though it was unplanned, she would have told Dave about it in her own time. But when she realises that the rumour is spreading she panics and tries to cover it up with Dave. However, after seeing how Dave reacts she feels differently. Now, she feels powerful and has a mental shield. A kind of "My husband likes this, so fuck you." attitude at work. Furthermore, when she brazens it out, she find she likes this feeling. She likes the idea of being thought of as a powerful, sexual woman who doesn't care what other people think of her. 

Now that I write that down, I think I do have to have her have that conversation with Dave.

Tamara

Any person going through such a radical change in lifestyle would want to confide in another person, especially if she’s the “winner” in the situation like Ashley. It would be interesting if she lies to herself when talking to Tamara in the same way Dave tends to rationalize things.

Interesting. We'll never get a conversation between Tamara and Ashley alone, since the whole story is from Dave's POV. However, I do have a chapter where all four (with Mike) go out together, and that has some conversations between Ashley and Tamara where Dave is present. 

I don't think Ashley is lying to herself, except perhaps being a bit blinkered about Mike. She has confided in Tamara right from the start. She was right there in the bathroom after all and in my view would have talked to Tamara about Dave's reaction and especially when he said he wanted to introduce Ashley o his 'old friend'.  

In that 'foursome' chapter we get a bit of Tamara relating how excited Ashley was after Dave introduced Mike. And later we get a long conversation later between Tamara and Dave (while Mike is fucking Ashley in another room) where T. reveals a lot about how A. feels about the situation, which is where Dave gets a lot of key insights about A. 

It's true that she wants this lifestyle to continue. She loves how things are working out. She thinks this will be best for Dave - his true nature - and she's prepared to manipulate him and hide things from him but she sees this as ends justifying the means.

I think Ashley is very insightful about Dave and his feelings. It might take her a little while to understand whats happening to him, but she gets there pretty quickly.  

Maybe this is a failing in me. I always place the cuckolding female character on a pedestal. I sometimes find myself defending her from readers who call her a heartless bitch. I don't see that in he OG books and I don't think I'd like a story where that was the case,

Read the snippets. I like your take on Tamara. There were hints that she would take more of a role in the original work but there’s no way to know what the author’s plan was for her

Confirming that he was outed to Tamara was a really good call. It kind of allows Dave to know it’s possibility, even though it’s unlikely that Ashley will want a lot of people to know. It gives him another route to over-analyze. I doubt Ashley would actually want their sorta lifestyle public, there are way too many negative repercussion .

Agree. But I think Ashley really, really gets a thrill from other people knowing. I develop a sub-plot from hints about Jimmy the apartment block doorman in the original novels. Spoilers: Jimmy does know pretty much everything. How could he not? Plus, Mike has talked to him. Ashley knows that Jimmy knows, though she never talks to Jimmy about it herself.  It gives her a thrill every time she sees Jimmy because he knows. (Not that anything is going to happen there, she just gets a buzz whenever she sees him looking at her.

She knows this is super dangerous and that a wider circle knowing might push Dave over the edge. For Dave this is like kryptonite. People knowing, even strangers, really pushes his buttons. 

2) seems pretty clear Tamara pushes her and sometimes guilts her into doing more - Ashley probably resents being the married, boring one while Tamara has fun. Jim is hot and she just finally gave in. Another example is where they mention Tamara wears the thong bikini but Ashley doesn't. Would love to see Ashley's bikini change after her evolution.

I don't think Ashley resents being married or is jealous of Tamara. Yes, T. pushes her to do outrageous things, but underlying that, is that T. has never found love and she is jealous of Ashley's marriage and wishes she had the same. Spoilers : She will come to realise, that she wants exactly the same. She wants a 'Dave' of her own that will love her for who she is.  She strongly suspected that Dave was a potential cuck even before Ashley married him. She disdained the weak, simpy guy that Ashley had chosen. Now, she realises the massive upsides of their relationship.

"Watching"

1. Personally, I don't think Dave watching is the end nor shooting your shot. As you said when you write it keeps getting there. It seems like your discovery writing that these characters need this to happen. Ast some point it’s the logical next step. I don’t think it should be avoided but embraced and used to push the character development. I think watching get them to communicate but there is a lot that could happen afterwards as they figure out how to balance everything and feel free to go deeper into there kinks.

It's an option, and one I've taken in almost everything else I've ever written. In "Eva's new Lifestyle" the husband character watches in Chapter two. The problem is that once it happens, it robs everything after of any doubt or impact. There's no stakes left, beyond losing her altogether and breakup. Now, there's lots to explore even beyond watching, as you say, but it's a different kind of story. 

The OG novels are mostly about Dave's confusion and self-deception. Once he's willingly watched. (And it's his acceptance, by watching, that would the key development) then he's no longer really in the same place mentally. It's kind of like a thriller where the bad guy gets caught near the start. There's still a whole building-the-case legal drama available, but that's not the same as a manhunt/detective story.

To be be clear, I mean willingly watching - not spying on them, or being forced to - which would be weird I think. He has to do it of his own accord. 

A common theme has been Ashley and Dave's constant assumptions and lack of communication. This can only go on so long before it either gets stale or it in order for things to move forward sexually the lack of communication will feel even more forced. This transition could be what tripped the original author up. I liked the view shift Dave had in your Tennis chapter. At this point we need some development of the characters internally so I hope this is an early chapter.

Completely. And the failure of one character to just explain their feelings clearly is a constant trope in drama. Whole movies plots are based on a premise of an early lack of communication. It feels forced and stupid. In this case though, in the OG novels Ashley does really want Dave to open up about his feelings. She tries to get him to talk several times and Dave lies, evades and runs away. She knows it will take him time to process his feelings. When she shares he becomes resentful and uncommunicative. Plus, she has Mike on her shoulder steering the relationship where he wants it to go - repeated humiliation for Dave dressed up in Ashley's desire for openness and sharing. 

I'm not sure I see that view shift in the Tennis chapter - it's a while since I read it. In what I call the 'NoFap' storyline Ashley decides that persuading Dave not to jerk off will help him to open up. She deduces that his shame and humiliation comes from the inevitable post-orgasm crash happening alone and isolated. She wants him to do this with her. She tries a couple of times (i.e. to introduce talking about cuckolding during sex) but they don't work out. She thinks if he had a period without any self-relief this would work out better. Plus, being denied will make him more submissive and malleable and she'll be able to get him to be truthful more easily. 

And it works. The slow steps toward more honest largely stem from him (willingly) abstaining from masturbation and then talking with Ashley.

 

"Is Ashley a hypocrite?"

3. I think Ashley is more independent and has a higher EQ than maybe you’re giving her credit for. She can try out what Mike suggests but draw her own conclusions. I think she knows herself better than Dave knows himself. She may even know Dave better than he does himself.

Oh God, I hope I haven't made Ashley seem dumb. In my view she knows Dave better than anyone has ever understood anyone. She was already 99% sure he'd be turned on by the bathroom incident. She knows very well what he went through and she knew exactly what was happening when he introduced Mike even though Dave was (and is) still in complete denial over his actions. 

Yes, she does try out Mike's suggestions. She thinks he knows a lot more about these things - and he does. She realises it's not working and tries a better tack, even though it takes her longer to realise Mike is being deceptive.

Interesting thoughts on Ashley. To me: yes it's very bad what she did, but I don't think it requires a ton of gymnastics. Some things I'd say:
1) some people are just wired to love and need sex and have wandering eyes. Studies show pornstars have a higher sex drive than other women, generally. If Ashley is just wired to be daring/sexual, it could happen. Most people would try and keep it quiet after, as she did.

3) also clear that David has always been safe, good choice. You reference that in the chastity before marriage thing. She has had no problem denying him sex in past.

I agree with the set up that Dave's and Ashely's subconscious desires made her cheating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Both need to own up to their own role in what happened.

For sure, Ashley has a high sex drive but I think she's more driven by a need for romance and connection than sex. Some of the couple stuff they do in the OG novels are almost saccharine sweet and they seem to be driven by Ashley. She loves Dave but she's slowly realised that he isn't as fulfilled sexually in their marriage, just like her.  She knows his personality, the subbiness, the deference. She has all the dots but hasn't really put them together until after she sees his reaction to the bathroom revelation. 

Part of why she likes being alone with Mike is that it makes it easier to play the role of submissive slut without worrying as much that doing so will compromise Dave's view of her as a dom and his ability to be her equal.

I've thought about this point a lot but I don't think I agree. I think Ashley gets the duality of her relationship with Dave. That her being dominated by Mike just heightens Dave's sexual submission. In the final scenes in 'Horizon' she knows dave is listening and says a lot of submissive sexual stuff just for his benefit. 

I think in that first scene with Mike after the bar, Mike has asked her if she wants to fuck in front of Dave (there's a lot of whispering). And she says she doesn't, because he just has a natural aversion to being watched during sex - most people have this, and even in these circumstances she still feels conscious. Also, Dave never says he wants to watch. In fact, he looks uncomfortable and ashamed and while he has set this up and passively allowed it to happen she thinks maybe that might be too much. Finally, she's swept along by Mike - he's the one who suggests the bedroom on the flimsy 'apartment tour' premise and she's excited and nervous and just goes along with it. She thinks this is the way Dave wants it too. Mike strongly implies it is, and he's been right about Dave's reactions ever since they made out at the bar in front of him.   So it's just the way it happens. And since Dave never complains about it afterwards, neither objecting to them having sex, nor that it was behind closed doors she just assumes that was the way he wanted it. 

Back to Replacement

I took the plunge back into Cuck Storm Replacement. I've connected some chapters, removed some parts that weren't working and marked some as 'done'

Here's one which I don't think I've posted before. It's fairly early, in the first third of the book. 

Ashley and Mike have agreed on a tennis date. Dave has been working his way up the corporate ladder.

PDF version here.

Adventures in Audio Porn

Did I do an audio post before? I did, but it was years ago. Audio porn is to video porn as TV is to reading. It's a little more work, but so, so much more rewarding.

Reddit's GoneWildAudio is an amazing resource. But unlike visual porn, the medium requires a little work to get the most out of it. So, even though I've been visiting GWA for ages, it took me until just recently to find performers I really like, like AprilW9.  I just wasn't putting the work in, dammit.

Putting in the work.

If you read this blog, and you haven't visited GWA then you should. There are thousands of very, very professional audio recordings covering every kink imaginable. Listening is so much more sexual than looking or even reading. In the very best porn that I like, the actresses act, which can include expression and movement, but mostly it's what they say. But it's so rare. Lots of porn contains barely any speaking at all. When you do find it, it's often repetitive and badly acted. You can get distracted by the images but it never hits you in the heart in the same way as a woman's voice does when delivering  powerful words, direct to your brain. When it works, it's amazing. And that hit comes more frequently, and harder in audio.

Plus, it's almost all free. Many of the best performers have patreons or other pay sites but vast amounts of very high quality stuff is available for nothing. Plus many performers post and comment and take suggestions and feedback online. It's a great community.  It just takes a bit more work than opening a browser and looking. You have to listen and that's harder. Not just more time-consuming, it takes effort to listen, seeing is free. 

I have only scratched the surface of what is on GWA, but I have a few observations.

Everyone is so nice.

The internet is a crawling, foetid swamp of narcissists and fun-ruiners. But decent people have found some cosy corners to hide in. GWA is one such place. Perhaps the moderators of the subreddit are particularly vigilant, but I've never seen people being mean or dismissive. Posts are removed or deleted, but more often for posting links to paysites or other spammy acitvies.

There are so many switches.

I've never listened to a male recording artist, but among the most popular/prolific women, almost all have posted Femdom, Femsub, GFE, weird fantasy and all sorts of stuff. Some are better or more familiar with one kink or another but most of those that I've listened to and like, do a variety of stuff.
It's not like that in the PMV community. There, people find a style and subject and stick to it pretty hard. I can usually tell who made a particular popular PMV by watching the first 10 seconds or reading the tags. Audio performers are much more varied in the topics they cover, even if they excel in one particular area.

Writers and performers are not the same people...

.. to the degree that performing someone else's script is the norm and recording artists tend to flag when they've written the content themselves or are just making it up on the spot. Some scripts are popular enough that several  performers may have a go. That said, there are probably thousands of poor quality scripts languishing that will never be taken up. But still, I don't know of any other medium where writing may so frequently have a life beyond the words on a page.

L-Bombs.

Writers and performers tag the scripts [F4M], [Incest], [Beast] etc. And it's fascinating what they choose to emphasise. L-Bombs are tagged all over the place. I L-bomb that. If someone isn't in love with someone else then what's the point, right? I think every story I've ever written has someone saying they love someone else at some point. Sometimes they love each other on every other page. I don't go looking for anything else - most of the  FSub and FDom stuff on GWA is filled with love. It may be rough, but there's always love and acceptance, which is great.

My own forays into writing for audio

So, ages ago. I liked a site called StrappedInSilk, owned by audio domme Teresa Bowers.. This was in the around 2008.  I messaged back and forth with her a little and I asked if she would record a script I'd written. Its here (as a pdf) And her recording is here too. I loved this, but to be honest I don't remember what writing it was even like. I do remember the thrill of hearing her voice saying the word 'Lingerie'. It sounded way better the way she said it than the way I'd imagined the character saying it. 

Much later I found Natasha's Bedroom and  and Lucy Marie on clips4sale. They did customs at the time and I asked each of them if they would do a script I'd written. (This was a one-sided psychiatrist femdom script). It's here. It was too long and both of them were getting out of the custom business,( or at least they said so. I now suspect that my script was just waaaaay to long), anyway,  I left it there.

Then I found PrincessAmiAudios, who also records (or, at least, used to record) on GWA and had a YouTube channel. I liked her stuff so much I joined her patreon which had the reward that she would record a script. But I've never managed to write one. I tried to turn an existing story into a one-sided dialog. That was easy - it was keeping it succinct that was hard.

It's much different than just writing a prose story, and even though most of my stories are 90% dialogue, writing-to-be-spoken still feels very different. What I write, sounds like writing, not speech. When people talk, so much more is implied than is said. It's show not tell, but all you have is words. And if my case, too many words.

Examples of what I like in Audio

So here's two favorite stories/performers that were in my groove.

The first is ThrowAwayYourLust, doing a script by u/flos_legere, which is here. Her recording is here. (* Actually, she has her own site now and deleted the originals from reddit but the site its down now. Hmm. This copy will do for now but I wish that site were up). These characters appeared in other stories, in which the setup is a fictional firm who have 'Free-Use' Wellness Therapists to service the senior male managers. Very FSub. In fact, it's almost Erenisch, but without the slavery. The script then takes that into a Femdom, Cuckold direction by having the personal secretary's husband be on the phone while she's being fucked by her manager. There's some breeding stuff in there too and it's all very well integrated into the story so it makes sense on it's own terms. I loved this so much I joined Lust's patreon.

Then there's this one Inappropriate Office Behaviour, , by AprilW9 who may be my favourite performer. The script is by ezy11, here and it's set in the same or a similar firm. (I love this Wellness Secretary setup). In this case, the secretary is upbraiding her boss for not being dominant enough with her, in a kind of workplace-harassment-in-reverse scenario. Her voice is wonderful, and she's funny and clever and talented. 

April also has a patreon, which I also joined.

 

April also did a series of three linked audios called Jerk Off competition which are all linked on her page here.

There's so many good moments in that that I could write a whole blog post on any one, but if you do listen to these (and I very much recommend you do, then watch out for her saying "I can't wait to see the look on your fa.." 

That's cut off there, because at that point, she's  savagely penetrated by her bull as she's taunting her cuckold husband. The noise April makes at this point is just amazing. You need the context. Listen to the whole thing. If you're the sort of person who visits this blog, then I swear to you, you will stop everything and vanish down this rabbit hole and thank me for it.

I've had so much pleasure from performers on GWA that I feel guilty about it. I pay for a lot of (visual) porn, but the vast majority of audio porn is just published for free. Patreon for audio is great. OnlyFans for visual porn sucks ass, but that's a different blog post.

My actual recent audio writing.

I wrote a sequel for AprilW9's Inappropriate Office Behaviour story  which I'm hoping she will perform. In a Q&A she said she likes scripts where she gets to flip from Dom to Sub or Sub to Dom in the same scenario, so in the sequel she accepts that her attempts to make him more dominant have failed, and she takes their relationship into her own hands.

My first draft of this was 5,176 words. The OG script, by ezy11, which is 28 minutes long is only 1,786 words. It was only when I did this wordc ount that I realised that my verbal diarrhoea was out of control. Tightening it all up was a painful experience. I found reading it out myself revealed some of the problems, but didn't make editing it down any easier. I did a pass where I edited and edited and at the end found I'd only removed about a hundred words from the total. I'd cut about a thousand and added nine hundred more. D'Oh.

Update (April 2020):

I just got tired of trying to cut it down and published it on reddit anyway. I actually put it straight onto April's page.
Where it languished. It got a couple of comments and a handful of upvotes but no other response. . Then I noticed April has a small website where she actually has a paid-script-audio offer. Yay! So I submitted it there and she's doing it. I can't wait, but I must, until May, so that's not so long. I really, really want to try to do better at this. I've read a few scripts to get some better idea of the way language is used in a for-audio script, but I think practice and simply reading it out loud is probably the only way. I can do the implied dialog of just one side speaking easily enough. 

It's just that what should be one sentence is too long, and turns into two or three and soon enough the thing sounds like someone who is in a Jane Austen novel. When your character says 'However' during sex, you know you've taken a wrong turn.

Another Update (October 2020)

Writing audio isn't fast or easy. Nor recording or editing it either. It took till August for April to finish just the first part of the story. Listening to it was a joy. It's here. . Please listen to it and leave a comment on her reddit page.

Since then, April's been working on the second half. It's imminent. I've also been failing to work on a sequel. Hopefully getting part 2 will make me finish one of the many other scripts I've begun and then let languish in half-done limbo.

Here are a few I've finished.

I want to be your slutgirl.
In which our girl writes out her mission statement - really a kind of SubDom contact for her housemate detailing how she wants to be dominated.

Please baby, I'm trying to read 

Jessica has recently sidelined her husband where sex is concerned. He's too much of a wimp and in awe of her to complain. He may also be a bit dim.
It's implied here that Jessica has informed her husband that she is having an affair with some man called Dieter and her husband has, possibly reluctantly, agreed to this. It seems that this happened very recently
At the time, she jerked him off, while telling him how things were going to be . But now, Jessica doesn't want to be lumbered with taking care of hubby's needs all the time.

Cuckold Hotline.
The Cuck hotline provides bulls to needy wives. It's a prestige service with prices to match, but their stable of studs is second to none and they now operate nationwide! 
The operator gets increasingly frustrated with her caller who doesn't seem to understand what is about to happen to his marriage, and he keeps ... playing with himself while she's trying to do her job.