I took the plunge back into Cuck Storm Replacement. I've connected some chapters, removed some parts that weren't working and marked some as 'done'
Here's one which I don't think I've posted before. It's fairly early, in the first third of the book.
Ashley and Mike have agreed on a tennis date. Dave has been working his way up the corporate ladder.
PDF version here.
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I’ve commented this before but you’ve really captured the main character’s voice. It feels like it would fit in the never happening third book. I’ve read some of your other posts about Ashley’s thoughts and I really think you do a good job showing and not telling what they are. I think “telling” would lessen the impact of the entire story, if that makes sense. In this chapter, it seems like the situation isn’t nearly as “extreme” as Dave is making it in his head. It’s good writing. Cheers
ReplyDeleteThanks. Since posting this I have made progress on some of the sections I was finding difficult. In the originals, Dave's imagination takes everything up to eleven. He fantasises scenarios that are ever going to happen.
DeleteI've toyed with the idea of Ashley spelling things out more explicitly - giving her thoughts - but it just doesn't fit. So we have to get it reflected off Mike or other people. I'm just finishing a chapter withe Dave and Tamara where he discovers things indirectly from what Tamara says. It's great to be back on it.
Great!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for continuing work on this. One of the more amazing feats of literary homage I’ve read. Instead of “homage” I almost wrote “mimicry” but that sells it far short! Keep up the amazing work!
ReplyDeleteVery interested in the parts with Tamara. Lot of potential there.
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