Article : Four Steps To a Sissy Hubby

The Four Steps to a Happy, Sissy Husband

Here at Strict Wife, we’re aware that many of our readers do not yet have a full-time wife-led marriage. Some of you have only dominated your husbands sexually, but have yet to bring your humiliation and panty-play fully into the day-to-day of your relationship. Others are the acknowledged or, in many cases, unacknowledged dominant partner in your marriage, but still have a conventional sexual lifestyle. There are as many different kinds of female-led relationships as there are people.

However, the most experienced dominant wives all know that the best way to live a full and satisfying life is to have your husband serve you in every way, in every aspect of your lives. When your husband feels he can resist or even defy you in some aspect of your marriage, this will inevitably lead to stress, tension and unhappiness. Not for you, but for him. A sissy husband needs to have his spirit completely broken by his loving partner, so that he can be free to embrace his inner sissy nature. Only then can he be truly happy, only then will he be free.
So whether, your marriage is completely wife-led, or you are just starting out on the path to feminization of your husband, we’re sure you’ll find something in our guide that will be of use to you.

Step 1. Girly, girly clothes.

It is almost certain that your husband wants to wear your clothes. It is by far the most common male behavior in the whole panoply of socio-sexual mores. 

In fact, it is so common that  it can almost be regarded as completely mainstream behavior. Also, while it is often a sexual fetish, it is a mistake to think of this as an entirely sexual desire. Since the female gender is often regarded as the more submissive, his desire to wear female clothing is linked to his desire to express his sissy, submissive nature. 

All submissive men want to wear panties, and most will have done so many, many times. For many, it’s the first and most important step to owning up to their sissy selves. For many though, this is not easy, especially not in front of their wives. Of all the ways that you can encourage and reinforce their femininity, this is the easiest and the most important. More than anything else you can do for him, letting him wear women’s clothes is the most wonderful, liberating, fulfilling experience you can give him. All sissy men talk about the time they first wore panties with their wife as the most exciting, the loveliest time ever. For him it will be almost a religious experience, and you, as the liberator of his sissy reality will be his goddess. 

Of all the things you do with him, this should be the most loving, and the most thrilling. 

Do not make the mistake of approaching this lightly. For you, pulling on panties is an everyday occurrence. For him, it is a one-way leap into a world of sissy submission. The build-up and setting to the first time should be approached with a degree of planning and care.

How you do this is up to you, and dictated by circumstance - does he already secretly wear your panties? Is he already accepting of you as the dominant partner in your relationship? How masculine is he physically? 

But, while your circumstances should dictate how you approach this event, you are always looking for the same effect. Clothes equal submission.

Rule 1. He should have to ask your permission.  

Control is vital. Wearing women’s clothes is a privilege, a gift, from you. He has no right to do so without your express permission. This reinforces his dependance on you, and also allows you to control this vital aspect of his life. At first, this is easy, but it is important to be rigorous and firm. Never allow him to do so without asking or obtaining permission in advance. Always make clear that what he is doing is shameful, humiliating, sissy. While you may allow it to some degree or other you are the one who decides when and what and even whether he is allowed to dress.

Rule 2. Your clothes are sacrosanct. 

He may already have worn your panties or other lingerie, maybe even full outfits. This is wrong. They are your clothes, not his. He did a bad thing by doing that. This may be confusing, since you may allow him to wear your clothes in future. This must  be either a reward or a punishment but always it is a special  occasion. The point is, it’s not the same as him wearing his own women’s clothes - whether provided for him, or that he buys himself. They are sissy’s clothes - why? Because they are his, and he is a sissy. You are a real woman, and your clothes are real women’s clothes. The distinction is important, not the rules around wearing them. You are a real woman - he is not. He is a silly sissy boy playing dress up.

Rule 3. All women’s clothes are special, and deserving of respect. 

This may seem a little odd, but it is very important. Men both long for and fear women’s clothes. So you may surprised to find that, once he owns his own, while he longs to wear them, he treats them badly. Often this is associated with post-orgasm regret. He may feel ashamed after orgasm, and when clothes have been a part of his sexual, especially masturbatory release, he will feel shame, humiliation and regret, often leading to him hiding or destroying the clothes that were used. This is not to be allowed. since it allows him to, albeit pathetically, reject and disown his sissy nature. Also, by disrespecting the clothing, he is disrespecting womanhood, disrespecting you. This is a lesson that may need to be repeated, and backed up with punishment and discipline. 

His clothes should always be washed and ironed before being put away. They should be folded neatly or hung up carefully. Ensure compliance with regular inspections and punishment when your standards are not met.

Rule 4. When he dresses, he must dress properly.

Even if dressing means just wearing panties under his trousers, it should be something he does with reverence, with care. You should insist that when he wears women’s clothes that there is some aspect of it that he is uncomfortable with. This might mean shaving his body hair, ensuring his nails are in perfect condition, that he only ever wears fresh clothes with his underwear, something which he finds irksome or uncomfortable or just plain irritating. 

The point is to insist it is done right, as a woman would, as you would, because women’s clothes belong to women. He is not a woman, and he is being allowed to do this on sufferance. Like wiping your feet when you go into someone else’s house, it is only proper to obey the rules, however seemingly arbitrary and unfair. 

I hope you see the point of these guidelines. Following these from the very start will turn his fetish for girly clothes into a perfect tool for you to control his behavior. It provides you with a means of control, reward and punishment all rolled into one satin package. He will love you for your gracious permission to dress as a girl, and the more you allow it, the more he will depend on you for this vital part of his life.  For once a man experiences the thrill of dressing as a woman, he will long to repeat the experience as often as he can.

 Step 2. Hands that do dishes. 

He does it because you tell him to.

 Housework. Women’s work. Same thing, right? Well, obviously not. This is much harder than getting him to wear exciting panties, and it is one area that many promising wife-led relationships let flounder.

He must do all the menial work in the house. Why? Because it has to get done, and you cannot do it  - you are in charge. How can you put your sissy hubby in his place if you’re wearing the marigolds?

How is it done? Well, it’s simple. He must want to do it. And he will want to do it because you tell him to. 

Reward and punishment rule all human behavior, and for sissies this is very simple. Reward - his wife’s approval and praise. Punishment - her stern anger. 

Housework is work, not play, and no-one wants to do it of itself. The idiot, post-feminists say that housework can be rewarding, and in a way they are right. But the work itself is not rewarding. They feel rewarded by doing the work to the best of their ability for their man. In fact, they always say, ‘for their family’, but they just can’t admit that it’s really for their dominant partner.

Training for obedience is vital

For your husband the reasons will be the same. He must not just do the housework, he must do it well. Only doing it as well as he can can he earn your approval. And your approval is wonderful to him. Sissies love and fear women. Sissy husbands especially love and fear their wives, so you already have a head start.

Start with a simple task, ideally one that  he already does, but that you sometimes do too. Criticise how well he does it. Get angry. Insist he does it better. When he does, no matter how churlishly, instantly reward him. Be loving, tender. Tell him how pleased you are with him for doing it better.  Don’t offer sex, or sexual relief through whatever means you may allow him. that’s going too far too quickly, but hint at it. Remember, what you’re rewarding here is not doing the dishes properly or whatever the task is, but the behavior of doing what you told him - obedience. 

Training for obedience is vital. You’re not training him to be a housewife, but to be an obedient husband. He doesn’t need to know that of course. A simple program of reward and punishment is all that is required to break him of any resistance and to make him crave your approval. 

It needs to be restated, that punishment is an angry wife. Not a petulant wife or a crying wife, but an angry one. Never lose your temper. Never lose control, just be angry, and for as long as it takes. And the reward, at first should come quickly, then as soon as he learns to obey, more slowly. Each new task that you insist he does should follow the same pattern.

he will thank you for breaking his will

Criticise, insist he do better, reward when he does so. Then slowly withdraw the reward until it is habitual for him to obey you. Each new task will become easier, and this cycle quicker. 

Reward should never involve an actual treat - only your loving approval. A treat of any kind becomes payment for doing the task, and he is not being paid - that is not in the nature of your relationship. He does it because you will it. For no other reason.

At first, there may be a temptation to get involved in arguments over fairness or division of labour. Don’t go there.  Just insist he does what you tell him. Don’t argue or debate, just tell. 

Remember, he will thank you for breaking his will in this way. He wants to obey you, but societal conditioning has told him not to. You must break this down and replace it with only obedience to yourself. As time goes by he can become more aware of this. When he has finally given in after some resistance, he will be weakened. Exploit this. 

“Isn’t it better when you just do what I say, hmm?” 

“I love it when you obey me.”

“Don’t you want me to be proud of you?”

“You are such a good boy.”

It may help to think of him as a little boy, or a pet when you do this. You don’t use argument or debate with a child or a puppy. You simply tell them what you want them to do or not do and insist that they obey you. 

You can both relax- he obedient, you  dominant .

Reinforce the unfairness. While he works, take leisure time yourself. Do this in front of him. Once he accepts that the situation is unfair, and that this is how things will be be, you can both relax. He, secure in his obedience, you in your dominant position.

You are not attempting to re-balance shared work between equals (even if that has been the relationship up to now). You are teaching a recalcitrant child how to behave properly. Their opinion is not important. Also, don’t make the mistake of treating your husband as an employee, or using language appropriate to a workplace situation. An employee has rights and is paid for the work. That is not the case with a sissy husband.  A maid from the last century is a more appropriate model, but be careful. He’ll like the sexual kinky thrill from that kind of role, and that may stray dangerously into rewarding him with a sexual thrill for simply doing his work. Remember, the point here is not to punish him for the work, or to reward him for doing the work. The point is to punish if he does not obey and please you, and to reward him when he does what he is told. The difference is subtle, but very important.

Step 3. Sexual Discipline.  

It is impossible to disentangle sex from all or even any of the aspects of a wife-led-marriage. A simple trawl through any of the sissy blogs dedicated to the subject reveals that for the sissy, sexual  pleasure is tightly associated with submission to their wives. For you this is different. Leading your husband into sissy submission is not about sex, but about liberation from a sexually and personally unsatisfying marriage. Sexual liberation is the goal for the dominant wife, not part of the process. However, his sexual urges and needs will be central to how he understands your changed relationship. For those of you who have not brought this aspect of wife-led  marriage into your relationship, this may seem distasteful. Don’t worry. Sexual discipline is exactly that - discipline. It is not about satisfying his sexual appetites but about channeling them in ways that will compliment your relationship and bring harmony and satisfaction for both of you. For those who already allow some form of female domination into your sexual relationship then it is worthwhile to review the parameters that you should be imposing on him. In other words, his sexual discipline. 

Sex is about what goes on inside the brain, not the bedroom. A sissy can have a totally fulfilling, even sublime sexual experience without you ever needing to fulfill his sexual desires. But how? For all sissies, their relationship with their dominant partner is the most important aspect of their sexual lives. How you treat him is central to how he sees himself.  A sissy in a mainstream, male-led sexual relationship is never entirely happy. What might be regarded as a very good sexual  relationship for a non-sissy will always be unsatisfying for the sissy. In fact, the more regular and fulfilling a ‘normal’ sexual relationship is, the more unhappy the sissy will be, since it does not address how he sees himself. It will feel false, and wrong. He will be playing a role - that of a dominant male - which he knows is at odds with what he really is. 

And here is the crux of the matter. Moving to a wife-led sexual relationship will almost certainly entirely snuff out whatever normal sexual relationship he has with his wife.  That is where difficulties lie. If normal, ‘vanilla’ sex is his only sexual outlet, he will be unwilling to let it go, even if it is only partly fulfilling his sexual needs. 

Your mission is to replace that sexual relationship with one that better matches his needs, and allows you to be the dominant partner.  

Now, a digression.  Because the sissies’ nature is  poorly understood in the mainstream, female led relationships have become confused  and conflated with some of the more flamboyant aspects of  sexual fetishism. This is wrong. It is not necessary for you to go out and buy a black basque or vinyl leggings in order to instill sexual discipline in your husband. In fact, this is the last thing you should do. Resorting to fetish stereotypes of the dominant female is not changing the sissy, it is changing you, and the point of sexual discipline is that is about the sissy, not his partner.

 What you need to do is to change your relationship, how he sees himself, and how you see him. You are not changing - he is. 

What he really needs to do is to accept his sissy nature. Accept that he is a sissy. That he can never satisfy his wife, that he is the submissive  partner in all aspects of your relationship, and that you do not see him as an ‘alpha’ male.

  

Now, as always with Strict Wife, we proceed from the understanding  that you wish to stay with your husband. That you love him and  wish him to be happy with you. If that is not the case, then you should perhaps end your subscription and phone a divorce lawyer. 

Also, the purpose of a wife-led relationship is not to whip your husband into shape and turn him into an alpha male. That would be a contradiction. If he were capable of that, he would do it himself. If you need to condition him into being an alpha male, then he is not one, and never will be. So, the first step towards sexual discipline is for him to accept his sissy nature. If he is already wearing panties and doing all the housework, this is much easier to achieve, but that is not essential. This step - sexual discipline -  can be the first step to a wife-led-marriage, and it often is.  

Arm pinning reinforces your authority,

Your approach, as always, is two fold - reward and punishment.  Firstly, he must accept that he prefers sex with his wife as the dominant partner.  This is easy to achieve. You need simply initiate sex aggressively,  and bring about your own orgasm without allowing him to assume a  dominant role sexually. There are myriad ways to achieve this.  A simple woman-on-top position is obvious. Perhaps pin his arms to the bed to reinforce the position. Having him wear women’s clothing during sex is another. Have him perform orally only. The options are endless. 

The point is to verbally and physically reinforce his sexual submission to you. State yourself that you prefer this. That it is ‘better this way’, and have him agree. Note that you are not asking him if he likes sex this way, you are asking him  to agree with you that your sexual satisfaction is more important than his. If he has found sexual relief during this encounter this is not a   problem. The point is that it is irrelevant. You prefer it, therefore it is better. 

This, is the reward. The more you show him that you prefer sex with him with you as the dominant partner, the happier he will be. Deep inside, the sissy knows that you do not see him as a dominant sexual partner. he knows he does not satisfy you - that  any sexual satisfaction you receive with him is less than fulfilling.  He is eager to find a way that will allow him to please you that  conforms to his sissy self-view.  This is the very core of sexual discipline - serving his wife, seeing her needs as superior to his own. 

It must be reinforced. Here,  sexual abstinence is an invaluable tool in forcing the conditioning home. Orgasm denial is not an end in itself. Tantric sex and other eastern sexual practices often include orgasm denial, but the point here is not to store sexual energy for a greater release later. That  is not your purpose. For you, orgasm denial is a means to an  end, to reinforce that your sexual needs come before his. The  longer denial goes on, the more helpless and desperate your husband  will be for any sexual feeling with you.

Seeing your orgasm, being involved in it, is itself a sexual reward for him. He will be thrilled to be so rewarded, especially when you reiterate that you prefer this to ‘normal’ sex with him. 

Punishment will be necessary.
Over-lap spanking is both humiliating and instructive.

Now, punishment. His own sexual release must be a reminder of his own sissy nature. he must only ever have sexual relief as the submissive partner, and only when he accepts it fully. While this  may be difficult to understand, it is key to his understanding of himself. Any sexual relief he may have had in the past while acting as a dominant male is ultimately unsatisfying. He knows that he is not dominant. He will almost certainly have had masturbatory fantasies where his is the submissive sexual partner, perhaps even imagining himself as a woman, or as a submissive gay man. The fantasies themselves are not important, and you do not need to recreate these, indeed you should not. 

Only the submissive role is important, and his acceptance of it, acknowledged, with you, his loving wife.  Again the means of achieving this are endless. Panty play is  obvious, as is achieving sexual relief from his own or your hand only. Spanking, and anal play with dildos are also common, though a little more advanced. The point is to reinforce verbally and   physically that he is a sissy, that he prefers sexual release in this  way. 

He must state this himself, and acquiesce in it, both during, but especially after the sexual encounter. 

Have him repeat after you.

“Who’s a good sissy?” 

“Does sissy need to come so, so bad?”

“Does sissy love getting fucked?”

Naturally, remorse and shame will tend to make him want to deny his words after  his release. You can easily overcome this by being soft and soothing, loving and tender.  

“Aren’t you a happy sissy? You love stroking yourself for me, don’t you?”  

Insist on an answer from him. Do not let him back off after release. You don’t have to become angry or force him, but make sure that he agrees,  however reluctantly or quietly. Reinforcement and conditioning are your aims, and from small admissions comes a full acceptance. Remember, it is his nature that he needs to acknowledge, not that he simply enjoyed the release. 

This is important. Don’t let him externalise his feelings. This is not simply something he enjoys. He enjoys it because of what he is. Certainly, this is not something you are doing to him or for him. You may be demonstrating something about him, but that is as far as your involvement goes -  ‘You are a sissy. Why? Well, because you enjoy sex as a sissy. Look. See? You are a sissy, aren’t you?’  It’s simple. 

Now, the point of sexual discipline, once your husband has accepted  that he is a sexually submissive sissy, is to exert control over his  sexual life. Discipline is important, necessary. The point is that, while  accepting his nature, he needs to recognise that his needs are  subservient to yours and must be kept in check. He may be allowed relief, but only on your terms and with your permission. Your needs,  as the dominant partner are paramount. His are, at best, a distraction,  at worst, a slightly distasteful irrelevance. A loving wife may allow  him relief in whatever sissy way she finds least disagreeable, but this is a gift from you to him, not a right, not a normal part of a husband-wife relationship.  

Discipline may be exercised in various ways, and while you are ultimately in control, it will be up to the sissy himself to exercise that discipline. He may need to ask permission to masturbate or to have you give him relief with your hand. He may need to go for specific periods of time before being allowed relief, or perform certain special tasks. (Note that these should not be his normal, housewifely duties, but  rather special tasks, or performing particularly well several times at his normal duties). If you choose to allow him to orgasm while performing orally on you, or by you fucking him with a strapon, then he should need to please you, entice you into such play by being particularly attentive, feminine, considerate or whatever pleases you.  At all times, it should be clear to him that this is a special gift that he is being allowed to enjoy, that this is something that you are tolerating rather than encouraging and that is necessary because he is a simpering sissy boy, not a real man.  It is not, and never will be normal sexual relations between a man and his wife. That door is closed forever, which brings us the the last step.

4. A new acceptance of his (lack of a) sexual role within the marriage. 

Note. It is assumed in this article that you are heterosexual, that is simply  so we don’t end up stumbling, over prepositions like the worst , politically correct, over-apologetic liberals. Of course, if you are attracted to women rather than men, or both, feel free to mentally substitute ‘her’ for ‘him’ or ‘she’ for ‘he’ as necessary.  

Now, for many wives with sissy husbands, having completed the three steps above, they find themselves perfectly happy with their lives and their relationships. They find themselves free to concentrate on their careers, their children, their hobbies or other pursuits - whatever they find fulfills them. However, for many, having a sissy husband  who cannot fulfill their sexual needs leaves something of a hole in their lives, a sexual need which must be assuaged. 

For some dominant wives, of course, cuckolding their husband  was the very first step they took, often unwittingly, towards  sexually dominating their husband. A fling, a series of affairs, some casual one-night-stands to satisfy the lack of what was so sadly absent at home.  

Without the open acknowledgment of this perfectly natural  state of affairs that acceptance of a husband’s sissy nature gives, this can lead to severe problems within a marriage. A closeted  sissy will be terribly hurt by his wife’s unfaithfulness, despite it being caused ultimately by his failings as a man. However, in a marriage in which the sissy is ‘out’ and his nature is acknowledged and accepted, the need for his wife to find sexual satisfaction elsewhere is  both obvious and inevitable.  Nevertheless, it is an area that must be approached with intelligence and understanding. 

And it must be approached. If you have been  cuckolding your husband, or just suspect that  he is a sissy, but have taken  things no further, then you should first address steps 1-3 above before introducing this aspect of your desired lifestyle. Having done so, you can then begin to regularise your own sexual life and eliminate any jealousy or resentment your husband may be feeling - or, at least minimise it, it’s never going to entirely go away.  

Note the title of this section. This is not about cuckolding as a means of humiliating your husband - although that will happen. This is about your freedom to sleep with whoever you like outside your marriage. 

Many sissy husbands will get a vicarious thrill from knowing that their wife is sexually active outside their relationship. However, your sexual life has nothing to do with them, unless you wish them to participate as a fluffer or the like - either as a reward or punishment - it’s up to you. The point is that this is not something that you are doing to them or for them, it is something you want to do.  The sissy’s wants or needs are completely irrelevant.  

 For some sissies being cuckolded will involve heartbreak, at least  for a while. However, as we’ve established, if it is not your intention to leave your marriage, soon they will see that this need not be the end of their relationship with their wife, but rather the beginning of a new, wonderful stage in their married lives. This is what is meant by a new understanding of his sexual role. That is, that he has none,  except as a submissive means of giving sexual satisfaction to his  wife. He may be involved in your orgasm, orally or by some other means but this is essentially a masturbatory act. You do not see him as a  ‘proper’ sexual partner in the same way as you do the men in your life whom you do choose as a sexual partner. While he may have some form of sexual life, this is as a sissy, indulged by his wife and allowed some relief or thrilling sexual humiliation.