What I tried to do with this one is really lean in to the L-Bombs.
In my mind, our star girl has always liked our guy, but they're friends. She doesn't think of him as a potential partner because, friends. After a breakup, she explores her kinkier, submissive side, which he felt she couldn't do with their ex. She has some random encounters over a few months but they don't work out. But hey, maybe her housemate? She'd heard he was into DS stuff, he's single and they're alone together all Summer. She thinks he'll be into it.
She's quite obsessive and thorough, so she writes out her desires and limits, since that's what all the D/S guide books advise. And, as she does so, she begins to realise she has real feelings for our guy. In my mind, she is surprised to find herself writing 'Slutgirl loves Daddy.' at the end. She hadn't known this when she began.
Originally, the reading of her D/S statement took longer and there was no sex. But hey, where's the fun in that? Then, of course it was too long, so I went back and edited it all down, removing anything I thought was flabby. So it moves along at a breakneck pace. I find pacing hard.
All this is wish-fulfilment, right? I have to admit, though, for me the wish is to be Jessica, not our unnamed guy.
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Extract : near the middle
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I realised. After like the fifth one. Another one night stand. You can't have that kind of relationship in one night. It takes time. Intimacy.
And privacy.
And /we/ have that in spades. The whole Summer. Just the two of us in this house. Alone.
Will I tell you what I want?
I want to wear just some stockings and heels and a little boob tube. No panties. Nothing else. Around the house. Every evening.
I want to put my head in your lap when we watch TV and feel you grow hard. And then slowly suck your cock into my mouth for hours and hours.
I want you to fuck me. Whenever you want. Wherever you want. I want it to be dominant. And hard.
I want to be your slutty little plaything. All Summer.
It needs to be with someone I trust. Someone I have feelings for. Someone who knows what they're doing.
Do I know what /I'm/ doing? Of course. *laughs* How well do you know me?
I've read all the books. The good ones. I've listened to advice. I've thought about it. A lot!
And privacy.
And /we/ have that in spades. The whole Summer. Just the two of us in this house. Alone.
Will I tell you what I want?
I want to wear just some stockings and heels and a little boob tube. No panties. Nothing else. Around the house. Every evening.
I want to put my head in your lap when we watch TV and feel you grow hard. And then slowly suck your cock into my mouth for hours and hours.
I want you to fuck me. Whenever you want. Wherever you want. I want it to be dominant. And hard.
I want to be your slutty little plaything. All Summer.
It needs to be with someone I trust. Someone I have feelings for. Someone who knows what they're doing.
Do I know what /I'm/ doing? Of course. *laughs* How well do you know me?
I've read all the books. The good ones. I've listened to advice. I've thought about it. A lot!
I've written it all out. Here. We can go through it. The limits. The safewords. What we want out of this. What we want to avoid.
Yeah. Look here. I have four pages. I'm always thorough.
Let's start at the top. You want to go through it? Okay.
So I started with a statement. Like a mission statement. A guiding principle.
*reading* I, Jessica Lawlor, want to feel like a slutty little whore. I want to feel safe and protected. That my Daddy understands me.
Yeah. Look here. I have four pages. I'm always thorough.
Let's start at the top. You want to go through it? Okay.
So I started with a statement. Like a mission statement. A guiding principle.
*reading* I, Jessica Lawlor, want to feel like a slutty little whore. I want to feel safe and protected. That my Daddy understands me.
*to him* Yeah. I want to call you Daddy.
*reading* That he cares for me. That he enjoys using me for his pleasure and understands my pleasure comes from being used. I want cuddles, and before care, and after care, and during care. I want to feel desired. I want to be his slut.
*reading* I want Daddy to enjoy using me. I want him to feel comfortable with my limits so he can take me there, whenever he wants and feel secure in knowing that I feel safe with him. I want Daddy to know that I will always tell him the moment anything feels wrong. Even if it felt right some time before. I want Daddy to know that /I/ understand that being assertive and dominant is hard work. But in return I give him my body and my soul to be used by him.
*to him* I know there's a lot of 'I wants' in there, but that's kind of the point, right? So you know. You could write your own. It's more difficult than I thought.
*to him* Okay. Yeah? There's lots more. We're into specifics now.
*reading* I want to be clear that what goes on at home, stays at home. We will neither of us ever break this confidence.
*reading* I want to dress how I like, when I like. If I dress slutty. I'm probably 'on'. If I dress conservatively, I'm probably off. But you need to be sure. Daddy can check easily by just asking how I feel.
*to him* Writing this out. That seemed wrong. But now I'm reading it. It's okay. I can picture it. You can always ask. It won't break the mood. I mean 'do you want this?' When the answer is yes, then that increases the passion, right? And if it's no. Then you were right to ask. Right? Yeah.
*reading* I retain the right to be on or off whenever I want and with no notice or explanation. When I'm on, Daddy can use me all he wants, subject to this agreement. When I'm off. We're back to friends again. Hugs are fine but nothing beyond that. Daddy doesn't get to ask why.
*reading* My safeword is doorbell. If I'm gagged or have Daddy's cock in my mouth then the safeword gesture is the thumbs down sign. If my hands are tied and my mouth is gagged then I can signal with a nose wiggle.
*to him* Yeah. Like this. I know. It /is/ cute. Isn't this fun? I am getting so wet reading this to you,.
*cough* *reading* For this reason. I can never be masked and gagged at the same time. But mask without gag is okay and gag without mask, more than okay. I like being gagged.
*reading* I want to be lubed all the time. I like feeling ready. I will endeavour to be lubed for Daddy's cock or fingers all the time but it's Daddy's responsibility to be sure that I am properly lubricated for him.
*reading* I love to be spanked. But spanking is special. It needs to be with verbal domination, or during sex when I'm already very aroused. Just a random spank in the hallway is not okay, even if I am 'on'. It has to be in the context of sex or a sexual scene.
*to him* Is this okay? Have I gone into too much detail? I'm aware of my tendency to obsess and overwork things.
*to him* No? It's good? I have to tell you, I enjoyed writing all this out and thinking it through. It was hard, but really liberating. I've been anticipating you coming home all day, so I could read it to you. But the reality is even more of a fucking rush though.
*cough* I'll go on, shall I?
*reading* I have a wide variety of harnesses and butt-plugs and sex toys that I bought when I was trying to explore this side of me. Turns out I don't much enjoy ropes. But I do like feeling constrained by straps. I love being gagged. But I also like to talk.
*to him* Yeah, I know, some of this isn't a surprise. *laughs*
*ahem* *reading* I like wearing slutty clothes and outfits but I also like being exposed. I want to explore all of these contradictions and kinks with Daddy. I want to experiment, and I reserve the right to be illogical, complicated, contradictory and impossibly frustrating. Daddy doesn't get to complain about this. But in compensation he gets to explore all of this with me.
*reading* I want to drink pints of Daddy's semen. I want all of it. Daddy is not allowed to masturbate or, /does this even need to be said?/ go with any other woman during the length of this agreement.
*reading* I want to sleep with Daddy in his bed. I want to wake up with his arms around me. Daddy and I need to go to bed at the same time. If I am tired he needs to come to bed with me. If he is tired he can bring me to bed. Daddy is not allowed to get up before me. Even if this means he has to wake me up, like if he has an early shift at work. At all times I am to be his special slut girl.
*to him* *emotional* *there's a tear rolling down her cheek* Sorry. Could you fetch me some water?
*drinking sounds*
*reading* I want Daddy to enjoy using me. I want him to feel comfortable with my limits so he can take me there, whenever he wants and feel secure in knowing that I feel safe with him. I want Daddy to know that I will always tell him the moment anything feels wrong. Even if it felt right some time before. I want Daddy to know that /I/ understand that being assertive and dominant is hard work. But in return I give him my body and my soul to be used by him.
*to him* I know there's a lot of 'I wants' in there, but that's kind of the point, right? So you know. You could write your own. It's more difficult than I thought.
*to him* Okay. Yeah? There's lots more. We're into specifics now.
*reading* I want to be clear that what goes on at home, stays at home. We will neither of us ever break this confidence.
*reading* I want to dress how I like, when I like. If I dress slutty. I'm probably 'on'. If I dress conservatively, I'm probably off. But you need to be sure. Daddy can check easily by just asking how I feel.
*to him* Writing this out. That seemed wrong. But now I'm reading it. It's okay. I can picture it. You can always ask. It won't break the mood. I mean 'do you want this?' When the answer is yes, then that increases the passion, right? And if it's no. Then you were right to ask. Right? Yeah.
*reading* I retain the right to be on or off whenever I want and with no notice or explanation. When I'm on, Daddy can use me all he wants, subject to this agreement. When I'm off. We're back to friends again. Hugs are fine but nothing beyond that. Daddy doesn't get to ask why.
*reading* My safeword is doorbell. If I'm gagged or have Daddy's cock in my mouth then the safeword gesture is the thumbs down sign. If my hands are tied and my mouth is gagged then I can signal with a nose wiggle.
*to him* Yeah. Like this. I know. It /is/ cute. Isn't this fun? I am getting so wet reading this to you,.
*cough* *reading* For this reason. I can never be masked and gagged at the same time. But mask without gag is okay and gag without mask, more than okay. I like being gagged.
*reading* I want to be lubed all the time. I like feeling ready. I will endeavour to be lubed for Daddy's cock or fingers all the time but it's Daddy's responsibility to be sure that I am properly lubricated for him.
*reading* I love to be spanked. But spanking is special. It needs to be with verbal domination, or during sex when I'm already very aroused. Just a random spank in the hallway is not okay, even if I am 'on'. It has to be in the context of sex or a sexual scene.
*to him* Is this okay? Have I gone into too much detail? I'm aware of my tendency to obsess and overwork things.
*to him* No? It's good? I have to tell you, I enjoyed writing all this out and thinking it through. It was hard, but really liberating. I've been anticipating you coming home all day, so I could read it to you. But the reality is even more of a fucking rush though.
*cough* I'll go on, shall I?
*reading* I have a wide variety of harnesses and butt-plugs and sex toys that I bought when I was trying to explore this side of me. Turns out I don't much enjoy ropes. But I do like feeling constrained by straps. I love being gagged. But I also like to talk.
*to him* Yeah, I know, some of this isn't a surprise. *laughs*
*ahem* *reading* I like wearing slutty clothes and outfits but I also like being exposed. I want to explore all of these contradictions and kinks with Daddy. I want to experiment, and I reserve the right to be illogical, complicated, contradictory and impossibly frustrating. Daddy doesn't get to complain about this. But in compensation he gets to explore all of this with me.
*reading* I want to drink pints of Daddy's semen. I want all of it. Daddy is not allowed to masturbate or, /does this even need to be said?/ go with any other woman during the length of this agreement.
*reading* I want to sleep with Daddy in his bed. I want to wake up with his arms around me. Daddy and I need to go to bed at the same time. If I am tired he needs to come to bed with me. If he is tired he can bring me to bed. Daddy is not allowed to get up before me. Even if this means he has to wake me up, like if he has an early shift at work. At all times I am to be his special slut girl.
*to him* *emotional* *there's a tear rolling down her cheek* Sorry. Could you fetch me some water?
*drinking sounds*
*to him* No. I'm fine. Good, really. Could you give me just a little hint of what you're thinking? I like the silent brooding hulk thing but I'm kind of opening myself up here and a hint of feedback ...
* to him* Is that nod telling me you agree to everything?
Okay. Especially waking up beside me? *emotional laugh* Sure. Yes. That's my favourite part too.
Okay. On we go. Over the page. Last one.
*reading* I want to be called names. Slut, whore, cunt, fuck-toy. That kind of thing. Also, possessive. I am /Daddy's/ slutgirl. I want to be reminded of that. Constantly. I don't want to be called a bitch because that makes me sound mean. Words that emphasise my sexual submissiveness and neediness are positive. Words that make me feel worthless are not. I reserve the right to change my mind on this without notice or reason. See point 5a.
*reading* Daddy is to be assertive and dominant over his slutgirl. When we are 'on' he will put me, his slutgirl, into positions to emphasise his control and mastery of my body. I will not be putting any effort into thinking stuff up. It is Daddy's responsibility to invent, vary and extemporise scenes. He will need to explore just how I want to be dominated and used, and he will use his imagination and strength to try things out. I will give feedback before, after and during on how this is working. Both slutgirl and Daddy understand and accept that I can be a demanding and needy pain-in-the-ass but we agree to go ahead with this anyway. I will do my best to be as flexible and positive as I can and Daddy will do his best to do the same.
*to him* Last bit. Are we still okay?
Because this is the hard bit.
*reading, slowly* Slutgirl loves Daddy. I reserve the right to say this before during and after.
*sniff*
Oh. *Kissing sounds*
*slightly dreamy from here on*
You're right. I didn't put down anything about kissing.
How could I have forgotten?
I /love/ kissing.
Continue reading the full script.
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